paulysinatra 🏳️‍🌈

One of the most criminally underrated TV shows of all time!

I thought I had a decent evening, but again it seems I was wrong. I can't even have a moment to myself without something or someone getting me really upset due to how I'm being perceived given my depression is noticeable whilst all in all I didn't do shit. I swear people like to vex me and I'm tired

From THE INVISIBLE CITY

Man, Pete Hamill was a terrific journalist. He captured the regular lives of people like a short story virtuoso. One rarely sees this gracefully heavy lifting these days.

Nice, and also, thanks for giving me the nudge as well with me finally having the opportunity to be at peace. My approach to this now will be essentially "island hoping" and I think you know that term from WWII dude.

Again I'm really grateful.

628 books packed so far. That's about 7 to 10% of the collection. I have three friends placing bets on the full number. Never actually counted the full tally until now. I'm thinking it's going to be in the 8k range, but we'll see!

Should've been a fly on a wall when I told my stepfather about,when I spoke to him it in Spanish.....and his opinion was the same as that just bombastic as in laughing like as she deserves it. Follow by a plethora of insults, so to me, that was a bit funny and a bit of a mood adjustment.

May this evil bitch never know a moment of peace for the rest of her days. Next stop? Prison.

But, I'll look at it when I have the chance though alright dude. I'm just trying to relax before I go tonight and there's already one thing that's been getting to me so I'm just doing some breathing exercises before I go. I'm keen aware of the faulty mood I've been having but I just don't need 💩

I don't remember if I did, but I'm aware he did something like that so I was aware of that he did......I think?.....not sure.

I haven't been feeling well. The last thing I don't need is when someone spouts something towards me whilst I'm in my own world, something that is frivolous as to shut me up simply because I'm talking to myself of what annoys me. I'm not even doing anything, but things like this just sets me off.

Different day same bullshit.

It seems that I'm starting to indulge more with this incessant nihilism I've always had for years, but it's become more of an indication of how stress I've become.

That's funny

I do a lot as to be a better person, whilst overall try at least to change the situation that is my life. But it seems the amount of effort I do doesn't even feel like it's enough. Thus, I feel very conflicted as per towards myself cause nothing seems to materialize of whatever is I do frankly.

Johnny comes marching home.

Is this how I want to start my 30s? By being immersed with the same thing daily, whilst all in all being enmeshed in the same place that for years that's given me so much grief? This is why despite my approach to things, has become a misnomer merely due to that I feel "stuck" and not going anywhere

Arguably had the most intense dream, I had in a long time that really shook me the first moment that I got up.

2018

It gets tiresome of being myself, really.

If those in my life want to assume too much as per me being indicative to say the least with my personality, let me just say this: I'm aware how iam but suffice to say given how moat people go about in life; frankly I'm just one of many that knows how to survive in some way without giving up.

Some downtime that I always do these days, unfortunately, to say the least. Been waking up like garbage so might as well to counteract that I suppose? Well in my own peculiar way I might add.

Explains why he's fixated about federalizing the midterms elections overall, cause frankly he knows he's going to lose in which is why this makes sense now.

What better pretext to suspend midterm elections than creating conditions that lead to another 9/11 on its 25th anniversary? Bomb nations that are likely to retaliate with terrorist attacks on American soil and you have yourself a nice little Reichstag Fire inside job leading to a new Enabling Act.

Sometimes, I wish I didn't exist.

Miserable bastard.

It seems it's impossible to talk to anyone else anymore. People have condensing and shit attitudes with me, merely due to myself and yet when I reply in earnest somehow I'm the problem.....I wish I didn't exist. I don't like what my life has become....I don't even have any purpose..... In just a sad

I hate my mundane life. All I do is try and make the effort to change and be a better person: but when I make the attempt to be kind as well be there for people most give me a shit fucking attitude and use that as a way to insult me........wtf I did to anyone huh? Everything I say or do is an issue

Guess I'll be alone as always and it's been a common theme in my life, ever since i was a kid. People will do things as to enjoy their lives but will always exclude me from it or when I'm dealing with something or want to do the same it's usually the same outcome as no one being interested with me.

I apologize for pissing people off......wasn't aware I'm that much of an issue when I reach out. I'm sorry for being uncanny or boastful in terms of my personality: it seems I'm just regulated here as to connect with anyone cause I don't have any in real life. But even with this it's just the same.

I hate the modern era.