Dumb Runner

We have successfully bombed a school, gotten 7 soldiers killed, disrupted the world economy, and replaced an 86 year-old supreme leader with his much younger, more hardline son who is more committed to building nuclear weapons. Operation Middle East Wing is all but complete.

by Donald J. Trump

Earlier I implied that I escorted yo' momma through the Strait of Hormuz. I apologize for the misinformation. Yo' momma's too fat for such a narrow passageway and whatnot.

Opinion | By killing schoolchildren en masse, we are giving Iranians the freedom and liberty that Americans have enjoyed in Littleton, Newtown, Parkland, and Uvalde.

From the Dumb Runner Comics Vault:

But I live in Portland, Oregon.

The US Is Counting Traffic Deaths Wrong By emphasizing the number of people killed per mile rather than deaths per capita, traffic safety groups risk normalizing the factors that make American roads so deadly.

"Yes, building less dangerous cars and more forgiving roads would help address the US’s sky-high tally of roadway fatalities. But another way to save lives deserves far more attention than it gets: Stop forcing Americans to drive so much." @davidzipper.bsky.social www.bloomberg.com/news/article...

Once again: this is @davidjbier.bsky.social, of the [Even the Conservative...] @cato.org, an expert on immigration policy who has been providing data based expertise on the issue of immigration for a while now.

Joke's on him: Rotator cuff surgery causes autism.

*hit by a DRIVER!

BREAKING: 18-year-old dies, 4 others injured in Potomac Shores shooting An 18-year-old man has died and four others were injured In an exchange of gunfire at a Potomac Shores community basketball court on Monday night.

America's gun psychopathy continues: *81* mass shootings so far in 2026. 💔😡💔 #GunsDontMakeUsSafer

The latest, with 1 teen killed and 4 others wounded (including 3 juveniles), in Potomac Shores, Va.: www.princewilliamtimes.com/localnews/br...

People also ask Which country was attacked by America in 2026?

Hats off to whoever wrote this news item, mentioning the driver HALFWAY THROUGH the report.

And to the cop, for pointing out that the victim wasn't wearing reflective gear.

Great work all around!

westwoodminute.town.news/g/westwood-m...

#TuesdayMotivation

The best time to buy a bicycle was 30 years ago. The second best time is now.

Imagine the reaction in the US if ~175 schoolgirls had been killed by a targeted Iranian missile. (Or anyone's missile.)

This is an atrocity.

I like that Trump will say some garbled sentence like, “The war against the very bad, no class Agrabah is now over until soon and with tears in her eyes, Bianca Jagger thanked me in Studio 54” and serious people act as if he had some sort of coherent thought that he’ll remember tomorrow

From the Dumb Runner Comics Vault:

I can't compete with this.

From the Dumb Runner Comics Vault:

Study: Nation's Motorists Too Busy to Look Right Before Making Right Turns — Mark Remy's DumbRunner.com Research solves a mystery that’s bedeviled pedestrians for decades.

It's true.