KoppenWithComic

I got a question for any barbers on my line. DM me post haste

Now, now. Some of those Iranian schoolgirls could have one day BECOME nuclear scientists.

Can’t believe we’re not even through Q1

A picture of me at 10 years old opening up my Technodrome for my birthday. Then a pic of same Technodrome I just took at 46. Still got it, baby!

#tmnt

GOD: I want you to give a name for all the animals.
ADAM: ok. "Animals."
GOD: No, give a name to each of the animals
ADAM: that one's Dave.

I’m reading Wuthering Heights for the first time and Heathcliff the Cat is more of a romantic figure than this guy.

You, easily influenced: I’m watching season 2 of the Pitt

Me, a lover of the classics: watching the first season of ER from 1994

I’m glad someone greenlit the idea to have traffic lights.

My standup special drops Jan 31st. Jarretberenstein.com for the link.

It’s plausible we could have a second civil war during the third world war. A real Alien vs Predator situation.

I’m in the denial stage of having a cold

No financial pain, no gain

For sale. Men’s jeans. Never washed.

still writing “2025” on all my ciphers I send to the police department

Second poetry book on Amazon Kindle Unlimited : )

In 2026 i would like to barf less

My Etsy witches are really underperforming this quarter

One of the least looked-up words in the dictionary is probably "dictionary."

“You were obsessed with me.” Well, I was obsessed with Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman for longer.

Want to win these custom GLTS Labubus? For every $5 you donate to Feeding America via the below link, you'll get one entry into the raffle. Choosing the winners at the late show this Thursday at UCB NY!

2025 Raleigh Comedy Awards - Final Voting FINAL VOTING ROUND. Voting ends Wednesday, Dec 17th You've nominated your favorites, now it's time to vote. The live show! The Raleigh Comedy Awards will be held at Pine State Coffee on Wednesday...

I'm nominated for "Comedian of the Year" in Raleigh. If you wanna vote, thanks! Voting ends 12/16.

docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1F...

if I had a kid who was going to school, I would Game of Thrones the shit out of the PTA

Sarah Sherman is on The Downside podcast tomorrow! Out now on Patreon

I think it would be very funny if the Nobel committee gives out a prize for soccer next year.

Happy Gratitude Weekend, all!

I am grateful that my new special “Rini” has been out for a week!

I am also grateful for this joke that is NOT from that special, from Conan in 2013! Enjoy for 30 seconds and then enjoy “Rini” for an hour!

Thanks and love, all!

#jokes #funny #comedy #standup

Take your child to work tour

I don’t to say Wicked is overrated but I just heard a person from Boston say It was “pretty” good.

I don’t worry about joining a cult. Not because I think I’m too smart to fall into one, but because I’m annoying enough that I would get kicked out pretty quickly.

Some teen in the subway next to me said "his names Zoltan Mamdani or something"