Firing up the left handed cigarettes and listening to 18 Randy Newman songs before bed
07.03.2026 08:17
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Firing up the left handed cigarettes and listening to 18 Randy Newman songs before bed
My new thing is going up to random people in the grocery store and telling them "Has anyone ever told you look like *insert random 1980's celebrity*?"
Today was Mary Lou Retton
Drink Dr. Pepper™️ until your nipples fall off
Have a credit score that's a picture of Don Knotts from Three's Company? Got a sock full of loose toes? Bring it in and we can get you financing on a new Kia down here at Tommy Vajankleson Hyundai Kia
When you roll up to Montgomery Ward and close the sliding door of the van on your dick AGAIN
You're not dying of cancer bud, you just shit your pants
Any place you hang your balls is home
A gas station bathroom toilet full to the brim with marinara sauce
A Wheel of Fortune puzzle reading "Don Knotts celebrity vajankle bash 1979"
I thought this was a fever dream, but if it's on Wheel of Fortune, it has to be real. Also I was there.
“Would you like the soup of the day or the soup of the night?”
“What’s the soup of the night?”
“NyQuil”
“I got them eating out of the palm of my ass”
Boom-boom in the Zoom-zoom™️
Mazda®️
Please do not crash into my 1972 Volkswagen Rabbit. My piss jugs are full and they do NOT have lids
Just doing drugs in Lincoln Nebraska
Does the Chevy Astro have a Vajankle™️ holder?
Can you bronze a vajankle.?
What are the tariffs on vajankles™️?
Good luck with Mr Ed’s cum
A 1973 Chevrolet pickup truck with a 17 foot long bed that you just call “Long John”
A shit brown 1976 Cadillac that you call the Poop DeVille
wtf is cookiepuss?
Knees weak, balls are heavy, spaghetti on my wang already.
I got the job because according to my resume I was regional manager for the Midwest at Radio Shack 1979-2013
Wire NUTS
I never leave home without my Ideal® brand Wire Nuts™!
This time, I'm mistaken
For handing you a hog worth cranking
-Nickelback, 2001
This post is brought to you by Vagisil®
If dryness lingers, get some cream on those fingers!™
Vagisil®
Yes lol
Yes.
However many it takes to bring a new meaning to giving a high five… errr… four.