Cristian

Made the mistake of opening this app at work 😳

Update:

HEAR ME OUT Display screens on the outside of cars that only display emojis.

You can put the screens wherever you want as long as they’re visible to nearby cars.

Also I’d prefer programmable buttons on the dash for easy access to my top driving emotions.

So who can make this happen?

Ham strings??? I’m talking Christmas ham!

More like 👹🔪

I’m not seeing nearly enough gay cowboy in these Spotify Wrapped, boys! @corneliusversa.bsky.social

Omg

Like that time I pretended I needed glasses? 🤓

Good news is they take 10 more slots for the 40 year olds 👏

We always knew she had range

Ok new idea… audiobooks on the peloton? Any recommendations that’ll distract me while riding??

😍😍😍😍

This is the 4th morning I’ve woken up early to do peloton and instead curled up on the couch with Bluesky 🤦

🦔 🤗

I was just wished a blessed advent. Don’t be jealous.🧎‍♂️‍➡️🎄

In LA, we add Botox to our tap water

5 year theme: perfect hair wherever you are in Europe

Ahhhhhahaha moments before lockdown 💀

2019 ⏩ 2024
No haircut ⏩ haircut

PSA: Jacob Elordi stole my beard hair combo! 😭

If anyone sees this, will you please give me a tutorial for this app?

I just learned humans can’t feel wetness?

THIS is what I’m talking about

We gotta make toum ubiquitous. French fries and toum. Ruffles and toum. Meatballs and toum. Everything and toum.

Haven’t posted on Twitter since 2017 but maybe things will be different this time