Xander Flatt

Irn Bru! Or, free medical care. But I'd recommend the Irn Bru

The internet, on scientists: They're secretive gatekeepers, they hoard esoterica/the truth, they don't want anyone in their ivory tower little clubs

Actual scientists: LOOK, WE FOUND A 300 MILLION YEAR OLD FOSSILIZED CLOACCAL IMPRESSION AND THE VENT IS HORIZONTAL! PLZ READ MY 67-PAGE PAPER ABOUT IT

If I had £177bn, I wouldn't have £177bn anymore and homelessness wouldn't exist.
I'd probably eradicate food poverty while I was at it.

Which is precisely why I'll never have £1m, let alone multiple billions.

Conversely, I like Huey Lewis but I've had enough of the News

It seems a stretch to suggest that Trump himself would have realised this, but, he does seem to only remember and believe the last thing he heard so this absolutely tracks that someone would suggest it to him and he'd decide it was a great idea

It was worth it just for making The Beastie Boys canon.

It does make the Spock reference in 'Intergalactic"' a bit of a time paradox, but sci fi is riddled with them anyway.

The '45 minute' was a particular low.
As was Colin Powell's 'evidence' to the UN including drawings of how WMDs could be hidden in trucks, accompanied by some pictures of trucks that therefore proved the existence of mobile WMDs.

Tell him the weather in Scotland is partly sunni but mostly shiite 😂

An image of a man. It is framed from the shoulders up. He is wearing a black polo shirt, has stubble and has male pattern baldness. The image is famous for accompanying a story on The Onion with the headline "Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Good Point"

The news of Starmer standing up to Trump will likely be accompanied by this image...

A quick wee note for anyone thinking of making this for vegan friends*, not all beer is vegan-friendly so always check beforehand.

*I'm not aiming this at vegans, as they'd likely only have vegan beer in the fridge.

Not making any suggestions, but if digital purchasing isn't really ownership then digital piracy isn't really theft.

Just saying.

What will they do when they catch employees saying "union"?

Shakespeare never would have stood for all-male productions of his plays! He'd rather have played Lady Macbeth himself before... Oh, oh. Hang on. I appear to have stumbled face-first into the point.

If you'll excuse me, I shall now exit pursued by bear.

So how many Lowe's could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe's?

Sometimes when people have enough money that choices aren't governed by how they can afford live, they choose to do things that matter.
Things with purpose.

It is admirable to choose a hard thing that makes a difference when comfortably doing nothing is an easy option.

She is a national treasure

A man in a suit and tie sits in the driver's seat of a moving car. He is holding a Dictaphone up to his mouth and saying "Diane, 11.30am. February 24th. Entering the town of Twin Peaks"

Happy Twin Peaks Day to all who celebrate.

"...and there's been another arrest for misconduct in public office but for who Chris Kamara?"

Sometimes, the right people get famous.

Labour dropped a pledge for Leveson 2 ahead of the 2024 election in return for getting an endorsement from the Sun and the Sunday Times... that they didn't really need anyway.

In the UK, there is the possibility of Justice. In the US? Just ICE.

Okay, this is quite outstanding from Bedford Council.

The home screen is Disney plus. It shows a link to "The Emperor's New Groove", but the accompanying image is from Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith"

It does, sometimes, have its moments.

"There has to be a common culture", then proceeds to name three distinct cultures.

Eye. Roll.

A close up picture of the top of a pair of trousers. The buttons, belt loop and pocket form a face that looks like it's seen some things. Things you people wouldn't believe. Like, attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. C-beams glistening at the Tannhauser Gate....

Same, random pair of trousers on Vinted. Same

Zaphod's just this guy. You know?

All art is glass.

Depending on where you stand, it can be a mirror in which you get to see yourself reflected back. Or, it can be a window to see into the experiences of others.

Bad Bunny was excellent.

If your complaint is that you couldn't see yourself, then you missed out on the view.

It's too late for me, but not for you. You have to live on!

You don't have to hate Kid Rock just because of his politics.

You can also hate him because of his his music. That's totally okay.