Shawn

Now you truly have it all

One may try, one will fail.

If it’s all going to end, please men of the internet flirt smth me

Goddamn the way I stopped my scroll… abrupt, well worth it 😍

Most fun I’ve had watching a Half Time show, and least fun I’ve had watching Super Bowl commercials, in years!!

Why does a late night Uber Eats order taste better than typical midnight snacking??

There is a kidney bean emoji. We don’t have universal healthcare… but we have a kidney bean emoji.

The degree to which I am desperate for a bear hug by a big, furry man is potentially illegal.

I completely get the hype of Miami in November.

Truly no question for me! I’m usually a fire or dragon girlie but ghosts have been ramped up in recent gens.

If you see this, quote this post with your favorite Ghost-type Pokémon 👻

From suburbs to cityscapes, I’ll picket for the DC metro (as awful as it is) to remain forever

Definitely caught myself in a doom scroll of bad news yesterday. It’s got me waking up too early and scrolling again, talk about vicious cycle! Picking up a book instead

You ever just feel like a kid in a candy store? Where you were told you can pick only one thing but everything is too good to pass up?

That’s what my Saturday feels like 👀 📩

I’ve seen Death Becomes Her (film, not musical) 1000 times. For the first time ever, I noticed today that Goldie Hawn gets a distractingly large amount of lipstick on her teeth… 🫦💄

I have a sneaking suspicion that based on how frequently I see people use “constantly” in every day speech… that folks don’t actually KNOW what is constant or not.

I’ll have you know, I’m an insatiable flirt. (That’s a threat and a promise)

If you’re nice to me, I’ll tell you if I found a unicorn at the other end of those rays 🦄☀️

You should be good and do good for the sake of it. Everything else is icing on the cake.

I now walk every morning and rather than lament that I haven’t done so for the four years we’ve been in this house, I instead marvel that calm trails are five minutes from my door.

Using the fact that something’s “always been done” as a defense for doing it again/still is relying on a cyclical cause and effect argument that will always prove itself right.

You know whose intellect operates at that basic of a level? A toddler.

Grow up.

There comes a moment in every man’s life where he realizes his DMs are open.

Clarke?

Trevi fountain in the sunshine, but really it’s a portal of escape!

Work has been driving me nuts for months now. I feel like between it and the news lately, there’s no respite!

So here’s a pic from my trip to Italy last week where, for just a second, I thought fondly about the future

Fairy, fire, steel with a special mention to poison

The rapid decent I feel everything is on has me feeling like, “What’s the point” — to cope, I reclaim peace in stupid little milestones.

Folded all the laundry? Good boy have a treat! Baked bread for the week? Good boy have a rest! Otherwise, it’s all sad boy vibes!! 🫠

Busiest February ever and it’s just begun… 🫥

Shit’s been wild from all angles. Makes me want a vacation and by vacation I mean a coma… 😰

Who’d like to break the rules?

I know right… it’s a hate crime!

The only difference is it’s a bracket-style fight and at this point all your favorite picks are KO’ed. You’re just watching now because you paid $1M for your seat on Ticketmaster and in for a penny in for a pound.