Geej

Woah.

Hang in there. Soon you will have a chubby roller who can sleep without screaming for 30 minutes first!

*Huwei, stupid autocorrect

Sorry I still love that they managed to get both of the guys that Huawei went on dates with in the previous year, lol. Were they stalking his Instagram or what?

Funny going from Queer Eye's final lackluster season* to the wonderfulness that is The Boyfriend (season 2)

*Jeremiah deserved better and they should have just replaced the others and had a new rotating cast

Me watching scripted cringe interactions: Oh my God, I can't, I can't handle this, I'm dying, let me out

Me watching the most painful awkward reality show moments: Ah ha ha ha, oh no, poor thing, a ha, wheee

Ma'am I sure didn't bring those gum drops that three kids are currently mainlining off your iced biscuit roof

Middle class mums will bring a whole ass gingerbread house decorating kit plus gingerbread men to a toddler birthday party then as soon as their kid gets a taste of the birthday cake go "Oh no, they're gonna be so crazy from the sugar!"

Long story short, don't tell me anything because I *will* rat you out on the rack, extreme pain is some fucking thing, etc

I watched My Hero Academia when the twins were newborns and laughed at the idea of shrugging off pain or pushing through pain. Like, what can I tell you. I learnt there were some pains you can't push through.

Talking to other toddler mums about giving birth and they'll be all "Lol yeah it was the worst pain, super bad" like it didn't genuinely rewire their idea of agony and make them realise they would never withstand torture, like wtf

Seb is not three and he's the size of a four/five year old with the impulse control of a baby monkey, pls gd halp

We sure do fetishize tallness a lot considering that it is, objectively, a bad quality to have in young children

I admit 90% of this thought has been driven by the train system, which is just so...seamless ❤️

My main thought on Tokyo so far (after one full day here) is "What if London...was nice?"

26 degrees Celsius, small breeze, totally overcast. Beautiful.

And at the end of October, Hawaii achieved the Perfect Weather

Also I am once again begging Aimer to become the goth queen that Insane Dream and I Beg U show us she can be (the Open A Door album is good but not goth enough)

This one, Lee Suhyun, is particularly noticeable because she seems to exclusively sing for tv/movie soundtracks and then Alien is *bop*

I have yet again found an artist who has one (1) banger upbeat bop and otherwise exclusively does ballads and lo-fi 😕

(They are currently watching TV, which is how I'm able to tweet now rather than stopping them from violently hurting each other and screaming)

Tbf I'm not being honest. They get two hours of TV time a day. It's my saviour. Even ChatGPT, the wussiest "best practices" square imaginable, recommended giving them another half hour in the middle of the afternoon.

Imagine thirteen hour shifts with the most arsey combative coworkers and the only "break" is driving around for an hour (to force them to sleep).

Ngl my alcohol consumption has gone up considerably since the twins stopped napping while still desperately needing to nap

It is also why my banter at the pub has been severely sub-par for the past month

This is why I don't feel the need to do Nanowrimo

My critique pal once said "I can't belive you write this [evil stuff] with your kids in the house!" and I was like I write this *because* they are in the house.

Update: I let them watch TV for nearly 2 hours while I wrote something evil and then I felt much better.

TV's on again.

All hail the boob tube.

The absolute fucking tedium of trying to stop them fighting, again. Stealing toys, again. Nap when they're actually tired, for once.