Psy Costanza

we built the pyramids

starting to get the air of the post-January 6th part of his first presidency where people just stopped giving him respect

leaders like trump are why sun tzu had to write a bunch of advice like "don't write your enemy a letter detailing what tactics you really don't want them to do"

tariffs happening for no reason and theyre making your life worse, secret police kidnapping people for no reason and making your life worse, firing thousands of government employees for no reason and making your life worse, going to war with iran for no reason and making your life worse

The waitress asked whether I'd like tap or sparkling water. I rolled my eyes at that one: As impressed as I was with the restaurant, calling the water "sparkling" was just too pretentious - like "sparkling" crystal or a "sparkling" diamond. But I ordered the sparkling water anyway. Probably better for me. Fewer contaminants. I took one sip and literally spit it out. It was the grossest thing I'd ever tasted. I remember once getting a Diet Coke at a Subway without realizing that the fountain machine didn't have enough Diet Coke syrup. That's exactly what this fancy place's "sparkling" water tasted like. "Something's wrong with that water," I protested. "There's electricity in it. "No there isn't," said the waitress." "You silly goose. You porky pig." Everyone laughed. "I demand that you replace this water!" I yelled. "And where is my ketchup, and my bib?" "You'll get your ketchup when you drink your water," she said, to the delight of all in our party, who laughed even louder this time. "Drink your water, piggy! Drink your water, piggy!" they chanted, led by the radical Marxist Lawrence Summers, who was then the president of both Harvard and Yale. They snorted in a hoglike manner, and pointed at me with mean fingers. I began to cry - bravely, but in a way that brought me shame nonetheless. It was then that the tables turned. Lawrence Summers violently overturned the table, and the others pinned me to the ground as he began to pour sparking water in my nostrils. "The bubbles!" I screamed. "It burns!" "This is what everyone in New York thinks of you," he taunted, as he turned me over and began to paddle me with a baguette on my bottom. "Are you ready for your ketchup?" screamed the waitress, with malice in her voice and hate in her eyes. Sadly, I no longer was.

still can’t believe our vice President published this

In a shocking turn of events, it seems that the school that was bombed during a US bombing campaign was bombed by the US.

A screenshot of an app notification from Pokemon Go that says: "Pokopia Celebration Event! Keep an eye out for Ditto wearing a cap disguised as different Pokemon!"

Okay. I guess I'll do that. As if I didn't have enough shit to worry about already.

crazy that it's timed perfectly for Republicans to say just before the midterms "your gas prices are going up because Democrats are letting this temporary fix expire."

If this were a Michael Schur sitcom I'd be like "Okay, come on now."

we need Mr. Mamdani to release a shocked YouTube reaction thumbnail that reads "IED AT GRACIE MANSION?!!"

Video game ass neighborhood

Buddy,

beginning to see some flaws in advocating for and enforcing a "there are no rules, might makes right" approach

Yes, hello, is that God? Yeah, hi. I have a complaint. You gave me this brain that’s designed for finding berries and avoiding lions and now people are ‘just circling back’ to see if we can ‘move the needle’ on ‘key initiatives’? NONE of those things are berries.

counterpoint flood the zone works both ways, let them deal with "innocuous facts reported as scandal" for once tbh

my hardened Warfighters(tm) need the finest lobster tails and ice cream

I highly recommend you do NOT install the Going Viral dlc until you have a few playthroughs under your belt and are comfortable with the baseline mechanics

please god lmao

I think this deserves at least as much sustained attention from US media as Claudine Gay's dissertation

Pauly Walnuts very seriously telling someone that “it’s called Broad daylight because women light up the world”

international women’s day

Bob Odenkirk in Little Women saying "My international women."

we should spring forward mondays at like 2:30 pm

why do they call it daylight saving when you of in the day of out light save the time

Oh so you hate waffles?!

this is a hell of a way to find out that "Ted S2" is a thing that exists

Anders Holm playing a young version of John Goodman's character in Monarch: Legacy of Monsters

Monarch: Legacy of Monsters is so wild with its split timeline casting. On the one hand they have Kurt Russell's literal son playing the younger version of him. On the other hand they have this guy playing a young John Goodman

yeah my relationship with baseball is sadly dead and buried if it wasn't already

MAR10 Day is almost here! Check out the Super Star Snapshot activity to customize your own photo with iconic characters, items, and frames. Share your creations on March 10 to celebrate! Learn more: play.nintendo.com/activities/play/super-star-snapshot/

Nintendo suing US government over tariffs
aftermath.site/nintendo-tarif...

so the plan is to just kill a bunch of people and then arbitrarily declare you have achieved an amazing victory based on nothing