It's Abby. Yep

I just want to be rich enough to donate a bench to a zoo

When you block me I make a funny little noise like a bluetooth speaker disconnecting

Two boxes holding little stuffed balls inside that say "Kick Balls"

Thanks for the suggestion but I was already going to

If God is omniscient that means he knows about clown porn

Two boxes holding little stuffed balls inside that say "Kick Balls"

Thanks for the suggestion but I was already going to

I want a vehicle that runs on almond milk cuz it's cheaper than gasoline.

Photoshop of Trump wearing a white baseball hat with gold stitching that reads "SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS"

Fox News Apologizes For Inaccurate Images At Dignified Transfer

A screenshot of the accessibility tab in my Bluesky settings, showing the alt text toggled on "require alt text before posting" Btw alt text is also a fun place to shamelessly editorialize on your post and there ain't no character limit. Go ahead and share the Canterbury Tales here plus throw in a random Fuck or Shitass. It's a delightful pastime

Friends, please use Alt Text whenever you post images. It helps those with sight issues understand your sparkling captions & assists those of us who are hopelessly unhip in getting your references. Just toggle it in the settings for a reminder every time you share a bot mot, THANKYOUSOMUCH

doing a kegstand at the wendy’s ketchup dispenser everyone else here is a coward

Baturday
Bat World Sanctuary

Key Details of 13-Year-Old Trump Accuser’s Accounts Are Verified The newly corroborated details suggest the woman was truthful about numerous aspects of her life.

There is apparently credible evidence that the president of the United States is a pedophile. The comforting phrase “accused him without evidence” no longer fits this situation, and journalists must resort to the more perfunctory “hasn’t been formally charged.” www.thedailybeast.com/key-details-...

Just received news that it is in fact once again *Not* My Time To Shine.

Could an empire in decline do THIS? *launches deeply unpopular invasion cementing status as lunatic-led pariah state, its not clear what kind of move i was trying to do*

We apologize that the aquatic bird house and sea bird aviary is just a seagull pecking at a cigarette and a bag of chips but we're still fighting a lawsuit from when our egret bit a kid.

I hope there are women getting safe abortions today. and women are filing for divorce today. I hope women taking their daughters to self defense classes, and having lunch afterward at a woman owned restaurant. I hope women are having so many orgasms today they can’t get out of bed and don’t have to

quit smoking weed last week and just realized that “remembering shit” isn’t a superpower

Hahaha

Happy Birthday + 1 day to this post

I played a game with my friend called “New York Times headline or Something My Ass Wrote” and he lost

March 8 on the calendar where it is printed: "International Women's Day" and "daylight saving time begins (clocks forward)

Thank you for having International Women's Day on the shortest day of the year

Oven clock, we meet again.

it’s like they say: a woman needs a man like a country needs a warmongering serial killer pedophile for a president

Wow -- as first spotted by @BadFoxGraphics on X, Fox & Friends this morning used *old footage of a previous dignified transfer* to mislead their audience about the fact that Trump wore a baseball cap during the one yesterday

the reverse version of those “evolution of man” drawings

Really, Google Gemini can do everything? Then let's see it fuck off

R.I.P. gorilla habitat intern Mario, crushed by a flying wooden barrel.

This. Is. Incredible

I once asked ChatGPT how to establish dictatorship of the proletariat