Greengoop (special summer edition)

i miss bluesky

and the saga continues

when i'm close with someone, i want to be blunt about my emotions without the need for masking.... i'm pretty sure it's a "need" and not a "want"

i'll be like "you're annoying me" and hang up the phone and then go buy a headset so i can talk without holding the phone (which was the part that was annoying me)

but i'm not sure if this is generally how i act unmasked towards people i care about or if it's just because i don't like my ex

and i guess depending on how things develop this may be a slow burn, especially when someone doesn't have the self-respect to think they deserve better... but when in 5 years i decide to check on them and their account is just things like this every post, i'm spitting my drink and wheezing xD

i do understand the irony of me being toxic rn by making this post but...

watching the birth of yet another "i tried polyamory and everyone i dated was toxic and selfish and i always felt left out and less important" in real-time with a morbid fascination

why do I need to fill out the form after i already sent the resume with the exact same info!! 😠😠😠

"I'm going back to work at the gas station! I don't care about the money, I want to be happy!"

The money I would earn there would even be enough to pay for the apartment I'm living in.

I took a shower and went to bed. I'll find another late night at the end of another long day tomorrow.

The modest corridor connected to the modest bathroom, the modest bedroom, the modest living room. And it would be a flattery to call the kitchen "modest".

Quite spacious for one soul but with two it quickly gets crowded.

There is a world I used to belong to. Always tired, always working always resting. The odd walks at the odd hours.

"I wish there was a job I could do at night"

The apartment had an unusual smell. It did since I moved here. The smell always disappeared after a few seconds from entering.

The city lights at night. One time blinding, reflected in the whiteness of snow, other - dim and secretive. The tired muscles. The hazy mind.

I greeted the old man cutting a branch with a pocket knife. I greeted the foreigner shoveling snow in front of the government buildings.

i love winter because i love warsaw at night and there is more warsaw at night in winter

why can i only be content with a life filled with melancholy? i need to be cruel to myself to resign to life of showers before bed and going right to sleep to get less than sufficient amount of sleep for the morning shift

i'm not even opposed to writing in a generic fantasy setting, i kinda want to write a story about dwarves

but it's a fun and useful exercise trying to figure out what makes them work

whatever I want to replace them with needs to have some superficial disadvantage that's easily overlooked with their obvious prowess in fighting and survival

i think i'm starting to crack the dwarves...

the most fundamental issue that keeps making them work where substitutions don't is that their biology makes them appear weak but intimidating and durable at the same time

this was about cleaning the toilet, btw

except for the archetypically "return to home" story, odyssey, that works too but it feels like i'm making the circle back to the source inspiration

btw, dwarves are very sailor-coded. maybe even pirate. think about it

*has to be to have the same feel as the original trope

if you want to tell a different story, then obviously its as easy to remix as any other story

the trope of the lost dwarven race, dispersed throughout the earth, returning to their ancestral mountain home enmeshes itself so well with the dwarven archetype that i cannot find a single creative spin on it - it has to be dwarves and they have to be returning to the mountains

"i should get back to writing" i say while not getting back to writing

turns out you can tune SAME of the strings on the guitar an octave higher than they should be...

some....

no, we were busy crying and cutting ourselves

sisterhood is what forms when two girls in pursuit of a mother join each other with the purpose to fill that void

wth, rice cookers are twice as expensive as i remember them to be

babysitting the rice for onigiri, wondering what's even the point anymore

the "life"

the life without a rice cooker

those were really bad memories today... and they're attached to two places i spend the most time at and to the person I spend most time with...