Mave/Makki

The disconnect between brain and body.
Why won't you move how I want to?
I guess I'll just sleep.
Trapped in this room. In this bed. In this body.

ppl who still commission their favourite artists even in this era where everyone is broke and genAI is being pushed on us at every opportunity—you are appreciated more than words can express!!!

I really wish my brain would let me draw. And also let me feel well enough to stream.
I've been so tired and mentally unwell and I just wanna hang out.

Today is my birthday and I'm awake too early. Back to sleep for meeeeeeee.

I keep getting the urge to draw something but it's a nebulous sorta desire. Where it's just some desparate feeling to be in the process of creating.

I don't know what I want to draw, but I feel like I'm gonna explode if I don't. And then I get frustrated staring at the canvas bc poses are hard.

Another day, another wish that I could want to draw things that other people wanna see. I know I can draw whatever I want but also... what do I even want? I just wish the depression would let up enough for me to figure out. And enough to then draw.

Today is the last day that you can repost this image

Hoping my evil message reaches those who need to hear it most, this coming year

In a sketchy style, a young man with short, messy red hair and blue eyes with tan skin, glances at the viewer

In a more rendered or polished style, a young, red haired man with blue eyes and tan skin, glances towards the viewer

A sketch really does make things different

What if I start making like, yearly avatars?
Like, I think I'll stick with Ursa for this next year (2026) as well, and design a new character for the next year (2027), in December.

I wish I could have one night of being extremely comfortable without pain. And to have my brain not sabotage my attempts at working on important things. (I start working and The Fog sets in, and then I panic due to not working at that moment, and then anxiety spiral)

I drew femboy cock last night (After complaining and getting distracted for 4 hours), be proud of me

Being artist is suffering (1 milbillion brush strokes and nothing to show for it)

the original got wiped from the internet. but you can never get rid of luigi house, but it mansion

Hate that I have to have a subscription to trade pokemon in za
I ONLY have trade evos left to get! Thay's IT.

I'm post game in Legends ZA and am only NOW seeing posts about Corbeau
HE'S THE WIZARD WHO'S CURSED MY DICK. MY SHORT KING.

Maybe I should like. Add sketches or b/w or grayscale options for when I rework my comms

I really wish that I had any passion left in me towards creating things. Like, the depression is suffocating. I have ideas! Just. Not any drive.
I wish my art felt worthwhile anymore.

Stomach is messing me up a lot and this sucks
I have some homework I have to catch up on and I kinda wanna draw.
I wish this could all just slow down and stop.

MY TUITION BILL GOT PAID OFF (i forgot that there was the possibility of them sending me the state grant as well)
So uh- comms not as necessary now but it'd still be appreciated

At some point, I'll get my vgen set up (with new rates) but for now, ko-fi is easier to use for me

Support Mellonkoli Support Mellonkoli

ko-fi.com/mellonkoli/g...
Hi everyone! I need help with making sure I have this semester covered! I BARELY got my financial aid reinstated and am glad to be having to pay less than $1k. Instead of the near $3k if it hadn't been reinstated.
I have #commissions open on my ko-fi!

*Heater
I CANNOT spell after a night without sleeping (I've been up since 9 pm last night, it's a little passed 10 am now)

Planning to rearrange my room. My bed's placed over the heatet vent and I kinda need that to be unobstructed for the winter.
...I've gotta get rid of some things. Like the boots that don't fit. And maybe some other things in my storage tubs.

Been outside for almost 4 hours, sun's nice but now my feet hurt.
We haven't gone to get groceries yet so I have. Made A Mistake.

A woman with pinkish red hair and pink and blue eyes smiles brightly

I forgot to post her after last night's stream! My dear Hena!
#ocsky

Hate that OBS ruined my plans for streaming last night.
Had to get rid of EVERYTHING to fix it (uninstalling and reinstalling then booting in safe mode didn't fix it)
Only a fraction of a time would it let me do anything.
Was just trying to record to check some audio and OBS said no.

Mellonkoli - Twitch Drawing whatever comes to mind

www.twitch.tv/mellonkoli
Come hang out while I work on something