Deepest gratitude to the lady with a one minute video on how to tie a toga from a flat sheet, if only so kid didn’t argue that I was doing it wrong.

0.0070. That was fun!

Homage to “Headless Body at a Topless Bar?”

JFC, don’t do this.

I love how I don’t know which of the 11,589 crises you are currently subtweeting.

why did we even domesticate peeves

I never expected much of him, but maybe he *can* take the whole monarchy down by himself.

This seems like an opt-in kinda thing really!

It’s the adults of our childhoods. (My mom’s been gone for a couple years but I still can’t believe her cohort is old enough to go.)

He’s writing about women, so same difference.

I’m sure a nice buttery Chardonnay will meet *all* his alcohol needs. We don’t want hyper-individualization to over power communal norms, right? (Oh I’m sorry, did he think he’d get to pick the default choice to suit *his* needs?)

Baby was in a car seat, that’s all they care about.

Fair!

Your version makes way more sense.

Children of Treasury Board of Canada civil servants have swim lessons, period. (Also Yuna would never allow this.)

Did anyone ever write a literary takedown of mass-market Cold War thrillers and announce they’d rather read Dostoyevsky? Or do only women receive this kind of scorn for their genre fiction?

Your dislike of second person narration is entirely prejudice and bias. But isn't adventure fun? Yes, you think.

Ugh. We moved into our house when I was seven months pregnant. In a new city! It was wild. (Your job is to be pregnant. The house isn’t going anywhere.)

dead is the era of the microwave clock, long live the stove clock

Mine had a metal slide but exactly the same otherwise. I can still smell that slide.

This is so hilariously awful. How embarrassing for them.

I’ve been getting this guy’s water bill for *years*. They don’t have an unsubscribe button…

Hurray for flip flops!

I still own an 125 MB flash drive.

My Gmail is first initial + last name, no punctuation, no numbers, nada. The kids can bite me.

How stressful! I hope everything settles down soon.

And for the millionth time, when we say we are Irish we *mean* Irish-American and everyone knows it. Please don’t embarrass yourself by insinuating otherwise.

You know it. “And I don’t want the world to see me, because I don’t think that they’d understand, and when everything’s made to be broken I just want you to know who I am.”

Markwayne being one word still makes me giggle.

Love your curls, love the color, happy chopping!