Fia Akseliane Ekeland

I've been dreaming about watching the Lord of The Rings trilogy in sequence since Sunday. It's so bizarre to dream about setting up a movie to watch on the couch in a dream. I just sit there and watch TV and pause before I wake up. It's aware, and it's weird.

Our kids are wild, dude. The twins love to play rough and roll around on the floor, nap with the cats, or constantly say ya ya ya to each other for hours. Riley is being a little smartass now and stealing snacks. She ate half a sleeve of cookies, then cried and puked. Like, we're dying here, lol.

Our youngest kid Bailey lost a tug of war with one of the cats. Watching how motor function forms is highly entertaining.

Dude, I don't know what my daughters skulls are made off. The running hugs always begin with a headbutt with their battering ram melons hitting a knee, hip, or lips. Riley's now tall enough for stomach, tit or headshots, depending. We love'em, but they're dangerous, hyper little freaks now.

Dude, our baby girl will be starting kindergarten this year! The twins will start next year. It's completely different compared to Canada here. I feel like I'm aging fast because our babies are growing up!

Kangaroo themed Jacks

My children don't know the concept of privacy or space. Riley will jump in bed with us whenever, and the twins get attached to our legs, or they'll follow you like security guards everywhere. We get like a maximum of 15 seconds to piss before they start banging on the door. "DAD OPEN DOOR PEAS!"

All 3 of our daughters love watching How to Train Your Dragon. The twins love Toothless, and Riley likes the dragons. They like playing with their toys and watching it. Honestly, it's a gift from the Gods for giving us break time because they sit in place. We can actually relax at night now!

Yo, stay safe, my friends. The shit that is happening is abhorrent and terrifying. Fuck that whole piece of shit government.

And another tip as a parent to a child with a love for annoying movies... DO NOT... put on Frozen. My wife made that mistake on Saturday, and we're on viewing number 5...

Look, I love that my daughters enjoy being read to and our oldest likes her picture books... BUT! I am losing my mind reading Green Eggs and Ham! Yes, I very much am getting sick of these green eggs and ham.

hates on women (wokely)

Our kids are getting to be so mischievous now. This morning, all 3 came running into our bedroom and jumped in bed with us. Riley got her sisters out of their crib to join her little surprise. That little shit is going to be exactly like me, and we're so not ready for it, lmao.

Man, our little girl is really thriving in Oslo. She's made lots of friends at daycare, got a good grasp on speaking, and understanding Norwegian. Enjoys the nature hikes we did. She's been happy every day, and I'm glad. Her first year of life was rough... she gets to enjoy it now.

Probably because I'm barely online and talk about a very niche subject (my kids 😌), it is likely why you don't see me. Plus, the time difference between Oslo and most people I follow is like 8 hours. Hope you're doing well in these difficult times!

Our baby girl is going to be 3 soon, and the twins will be turning 1. I feel old, and that time is going quickly. They do grow up fast, wow.

Dude, I'm glad I got away from X the everything, even illegal materials app. Posted pictures of my family on there, and the shit they're generating over there is bad last I've heard! Partially why I don't want to share my kids online anymore either. Ya can't trust people!

Alright, in Alladin with the cave of wonders, it decides if you are worthy or not. It also knows when you take something other than the lamp. So, why was Alladin allowed to take the rug? Was it because it's sentient? Is a flying carpet not considered a treasure?

People asking how I got my black eye don't believe me about it being from my child's thick skull. A 50lb meat bag missile falling directly on your head can do some damage!

So, like Davy Jones in pirates of the Caribbean can teleport to anywhere with water, right? So, could he like show up when I'm in a bath or what? It's water!

Dude, what the fuck is happening to me? My wife was watching 13 going 30, and I joined her... and I liked it??? I'm doing things that straight women like, and I'm scared.

Guy fieri once came by, emptied all the salt shakers, and declared this place a "flavor hot spot."

I once ate something pickled, and I was like "oop"

I remember one of the times I got high, I was trying to be philosophical and shit. "How do we know time is, like constant? Think about it, dude! You're born in the present, and then that's your reality! Like, you can be here, but next time, will you be born 100 years in the past or present?"

My toddler gave me a black eye with her thick ass head. Was laying on the couch when she came waddling at lightening speed, slipped, and it's a good thing my face broke her fall. She was fine and giggling, but my ass was dizzy and seeing stars. It'll be a funny story to tease her about in 15 years.

So, you Americans be wildin' again, huh? Still partying on day 5 of the New Year or some shit.

Happy New Year, everyone! From the Ekeland family to yours! We wish you a wonderful year ahead!

Losing my mind with absolutely no sleep and still stressed from the holidays. Probably walk off the docks next week thinking I'm getting ready for work.

There is no shitting in peace anymore since all our kids walk now. We need to make sure the door is locked when we use the bathroom or the oldest will be standing outside the shower smiling... "Hi, Daddy!" Privacy, rest, noise, everything is no more with 3 kids, dude.

Merry Christmas from my little family to yours! Hope you have a wonderful day! Riley says Mary Kissmas, and the twins said [unintelligible].