13.03.2026 10:47
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RFK Jr. Urges Americans To Grow Lots Of Pubes To Keep Bugs From Crawling In Cockhole
RFK Jr. Urges Americans To Grow Lots Of Pubes To Keep Bugs From Crawling In Cockhole https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-urges-americans-to-grow-lots-of-pubes-to-keep-bugs-from-crawling-in-cockhole/
Trump, Mitch McConnell Clash In Oval Office Over Where They Are
Trump, Mitch McConnell Clash In Oval Office Over Where They Are https://theonion.com/trump-mitch-mcconnell-clash-in-oval-office-over-where-they-are/
As the public gets to know this project, Mission HQ feels it important to state our values. In a rare moment of consensus, it is the feeling of the research team that—due to this platform’s character limit—we should let this artwork by @alternatehistories.bsky.social speak for us.
Exhausted Nation Lacks Strength To Form Opinion On Donald Glover Being Voice Of Yoshi
Exhausted Nation Lacks Strength To Form Opinion On Donald Glover Being Voice Of Yoshi https://theonion.com/exhausted-nation-lacks-strength-to-form-opinion-on-donald-glover-being-voice-of-yoshi/
Me any time, anywhere, even in the midst of crisis:
*Joy Division comes on*
"Fuck yeah, Joy Division."
Also had to redo exhaust to be up to code with 636.
Wall hung swap. New circulators and low loss header. 1.25 days.
Joining the military is for suckers. Fucking "dying in a ditch to benefit the rich."
Pickled Okra sounds delicious, but it also sounds like a toilet nightmare.
🪖🙅♀️⏸️🔗
Fucking amazing and perfect.
👂🧏♀️🗣📣
Holy fucking shit. Instant recall to 2 decades ago.
youtu.be/S6E4LmUapck?...
Cop Who Shot Unarmed Black Man Let Off With A Promotion
Cop Who Shot Unarmed Black Man Let Off With A Promotion https://theonion.com/cop-who-shot-unarmed-black-man-let-off-with-a-promotion-1828002782/
A bunch of you fucks have never had to wear these and it shows. Real heads can relate.
Cape Cod is getting absolutely beaten and battered by this god-damned storm. Holy shit. It's like a foot and a half of snow and a hurricane combined.
The most on-brand picture of me that exists anywhere.
The best version of this song: 9th Wonder for the win.https://youtu.be/nROiwLl0kJM?si=sgo6Q3EXcBBc8SKf
👵💰🏡💕
Hey I have some meat and veggies but I don't know what to do with them:
THE ANSWER:
Brute FT install. 1.5 Days. 3 Zones with dirt-mag.
Rewatching Frieren Season 2 from beginning before watching today's release and I'm dying.
She charges the fucking shit out of that crystal just because and then fires it into the forest glowing like a star and claims fuck it, let's keep going.
Just got tickets to see @gianmarcosoresi.bsky.social this June. I am so fucking pumped. My first comedy show since George was still alive.
The spouse and I are going to get a room in town and have our first getaway in about a decade.
My kids are now old enough to spend a night alone.
People pining for the return of ghouls like Obama and Biden need to hear the pop (of their heads coming out of their ass holes).
To put it in gamer/movie terms: it's like wishing for slow-zombies in a fast-zombie apocalypse.
How about no fucking zombies? How about that shit?
Me: Man my earbuds sound like shit.
My Earbuds: *Earwax Warning*
Me: WTF? Lemme look at this... HOLY SHIT.
Just more bullshit from a neverending font of bullshit. Jesus would topple the fuck out of these people like they were moneylenders' tables in the temple.
