anthony

ignore me i'm bored

anyway hi i guess

hmmmmph. if i make an nsfw account i'll just make a new one probably? don't wanna have to block everyone here DHDKSHKD but also don't know if i wanna be horny on main on the internet. BUT ALSO IDK HOW THE FUCK TO FLIRT WITH PEOPLE AND GET ATTENTION.

this is my vent acc considering making it into an nsfw account, but maybe the best approach is to make a new acc so i dont have to block all of my followers ack idk, i could dm everyone and be like heyyyyy just so youre aware pls leave? eh. idk i just feel lonely rn i want attention

hey hi, considering remaking this into an nsfw account so i don't have to make another account! it started out as nsfw then i made it just priv idk i probably shouldn't be horny on main anyway if i make that decision dw i will properly label the account so pls unfollow / block if needed

watching gmm and the first thing link says to this couple is YOU EVER TRIED SWINGING? what the FUCK link neal

an image retrieved from the pinterest search "anime aquarium aesthetic", it says it's from jjk! someone is walking in front of a railing with whale sharks, a ray, and various fish swimming behind them. the whole scene is blue with a medium dark blue water up top, lighter water / blue sand at the bottom, and then a dark blue floor

₊˚⊹♡ mutuals ? ♡⊹˚₊

• 25, queer, trans, adhd autistic
• undertale, deltarune, gaming
• jacksepticeye, dan and phil, good mythical morning
• fall out boy, bring me the horizon
• naruto shippuden, death note, anime, manga
• art, learning, yapping, sharks

#promosky

rsd triggered so bad but it's fiiiine :3 i'm okay i'm not a bad person bc i was a lil goofy in a chat and got banned for 2 weeks i am okay i am a good person i am gonna focus on my surroundings i put music on and have things to do i am okay

anyway i'm just gonna unfollow and not watch this streamer anymore ig ): i didn't mean anything bad and now i'm banned for over a week from chatting

negative i had just been chit chatting

and the streamer told me to stfu by username and i'm like shaky and upset i reached out to a mod to apologise bc i really didn't mean anything bad i wasn't complaining ): i'd been watching the stream for like 2 hours and hadn't said anything

i'm broke as fuck and there's this streamer i like and i've followed for like several months and i was gifted before so i was like ads brb and then i was like hi im back hoping someone may gift again so i can watch more bc like i enjoy these streams and i got fucking banned from chatting for a week

i can't fucking do this

i'm so tired of breakdowns.

sitting in my car crying bc work dropped me to 18 hours and that's just not financially feasible and idk what to do and i'm so fucking sad these days nothing helps

i only have 18 hours at work next week i guess i submitted my time off request wrong? i didn't need monday off /: it's nice for my mental health but i can't afford shit

hhhhhhh. they told me my grandma's medicine wasn't ready but it is and i can't be fucked going back out so my dad is taking my car to go do it and also we need lightbulbs for the kitchen but they're expensive and i don't feel like going and can't trust my dad w money.

i'm gonna try to censor myself around her because it clearly bothers her and whilst i am in my own home i need to respect her boundaries

i do need to work on myself mentally. i need support. idk. trying to find purpose in putting myself into activism. fuck, man. fuck.

big fucking feelings. i do need to be less like "hey i'm suicidal" but good god i want to be heard. i want change. fuck. there is a feeling like i need to be extreme. idk.

heartbreaking. it's terrifying. but i am in my own home telling you that i do not have plans i just have suicidal ideation that i am struggling with and being committed and isolated would NOT help me. it wouldn't, at all.

i don't know how to convey myself without being extreme because i have

i know that suicide is a very sensitive subject and i know i should not have reacted in the way i did to my grandma earlier but the person who sits with her just said if i keep saying "crazy stuff" she's "obligated to commit me"

i know she has witnessed loss via suicide. it's scary. it's

and i want to contribute to it

to do is get a 40 hour job and i looked at her and i was like "do you WANT me to kill myself?" and she looked at me incredulously which is fair but i was like i'm already suicidal working 20 hour weeks i don't want to give my time and energy to capitalism change has to start somewhere

was talking about how i wanna be more active in the community and mawmaw was like "you need to just keep to yourself so you don't get locked up" and i was like but if i research laws i can advocate for people and i can band together with and support the community and she said that what i need

hff. at work monday i was back at the drive thru window by myself and wanted to leave so bad i started uh, you know, thinking of ways to end it. and now i'm back in that spot by myself and i'm gonna try but i don't really want to be alone /: but i can't make the world bend to my needs

someone come sprits? spritz? my brain with water oh good god

one of my coworkers called me to make sure i'm okay ): /positive

i'm not going to kill myself. i'm just tired. i don't want to work. i want to feel better. i don't know. i don't know

i don't want to drive home. because i'm scared i'll do a science experiment with the velocity of my car.

i can't make it better by myself but everyone is struggling i don't want to make it worse i can't reach out to people