ECONOMY: SHAMBLES
OIL: $300 PER BARREL
COUNTRY: ON FIRE
REPUBLICANS: Hey man can i look in your child's pants? Just for a second man is it cool if i inspect your child's genitals. Just a quick little look man it's totally cool i just need to make sure you're not doing crimes. Just a quick touch man-
Everyone responsible for stealing that hour of sleep from me should be dragged behind horses and into an alligator swamp to be eaten by Shreks
everything is so goddamn WEIRD now. like it’s not enough to be evil and terrifying reality also has to seem like it was generated by a drunken game of mad libs
every time i repost a joke about butlerian jihad i turn to my ipad and whisper "not you baby. youre different"
it's department store boxing
I don’t trust anyone but I still want to hold hands with someone.
since women's day is an hour shorter this year, women will be taking that hour from another day at some point during the year. we don't tell you when, but it will happen
you’re onto something
we love the sweet potato one
i know there’s so many other things to be concerned about, but HOW do they still have the goat that they STOLE?
it’s so good!
main three women from how to get to heaven from belfast tv show
how to get to heaven from belfast fills that perfect niche of "unsettling murder mystery with supernatural vibes constantly being upset by three of the stupidest people you've ever met", everyone should watch it
dwight yoakum is my faaaaavorite
this is also my hydration hack
An IPhone 3G and an iPod nano
AI is a coward’s weapon. A liar’s weapon. AI is the weapon the enemy. We do not need it. We will not use it. We have all we need. Return.
what is good in life
we could have democratically run all girl kitchens but no we have to put up with some molecular gastronomy moriarty stabbing people in the knees like an angry crab all because a french guy 400 years ago thought we needed to boil celery and give it a rank
Message to men: you can date/marry way, way above your league if you will just fucking learn to cook and do some laundry, please stop hitting yourself in the face with hammers or "optimising" things and try vacuumcleanermaxxing instead...
Well, gas is expensive, and food is expensive, and we’re doing a war nobody wants, but at least there are no jobs
i’ve never been so tempted
We'd all be happier if we lived somewhere walkable (The Deep Space Nine space station)
stockmar if you want to do the mixing
we also have a prang pan set that’s pretty pigmented
remember when we used to experience joy
heyyy sorry i didn’t get back to you i was listening to The Freshmen by The Verve Pipe a regular amount of times
whaaaaaat! skittle skattle
Good morning! Yes, this is he
“They got money for wars, but can’t feed the poor”—Tupac
basically i no longer believe french fries are bad for you. they just aren’t
