Rachel

Can someone please tell me why the capacity of storage totes is measured in goddamn QUARTS.

Tis the season to disassociate and have a lot of random thoughts unfit for anyone to hear, so here I am, on a social media platform so I can send my dark season weird thoughts out into the void.

My husband just said to me, “Okay, I’m going to go pee pee.” Our kid was not in the room.

There’s nothing quite like popping one of your kid’s snacks into your mouth and realizing it’s damp.

😂😂😂 ☠️☠️☠️ Let’s just start our own bakery.

How Our Mama Milk Era Began, or A Prelude to Chocolate Cake with Strawberry Frosting Buckle up, bring your snacks and a beverage -- we're going on a journey and it's a two-parter.

For my latest letter, I meant to write about a weaning celebration cake, and instead I wrote about everything that led up to this moment: my birth plan going to shit, being a NICU mom, and the evolution of my relationship to breastfeeding and my kid.

My child just asked, “Is this a booger, mom?” and proceeded to try to hand me one of her dried boogers. In case anyone was wondering how the eve of my 40th birthday is going.

Any parents feel me when I say I can feel in my bones that bedtime tonight is going to be a horror show? My sixth sense is telling me that someone is going to cry a lot, and it’s going to be me, probably.

Imagine not taking the chance to be a complete pain in the ass under the cover of saving democracy.

It would not be me.

Typical NYT. A storyteller to boost up the tyrants.

If I could get rid of all social
media and go back to my MySpace circa 2007, I would do it in a heartbeat. Give me a place where I can post my favorite BTS song, write cryptic and emotionally vulnerable one-line posts, and let my IRL friends leave public contextless unhinged messages on my profile.

I think this, from @brianbeutler.bsky.social? Is exactly right. www.offmessage.net/p/poke-the-b...

What I actually said was, “Well, that’s a hair straightener” *blank look* “but we can use them as tongs.”

My daughter just brought me a toy hair straightener and asked me what it was. I told her they were tongs. Smashing the patriarchy, one toy beauty product at a time.

A good hiking tip!

Reading people’s Goodreads reviews like…did we even read the same book?? Jesus. And also, what universe are we in where a romcom starring people in their early 40s is categorized as “later in life” romance? Jesus.

It’s fine that my chicken pot pie has oozed out onto the bottom of my oven and I’m now turning it up to bake potatoes, right?

The “recommended songs” that come on after our family Xmas playlist has finished consists of the usual classic Xmas tunes and…The Beaches.

If anyone’s looking for a holiday horror movie watch, Better Watch Out isn’t it.

New favorite social interaction is exchanging exasperated looks with other toddler moms in the midst of holiday grocery store chaos.

I’m in.

Just got dressed down by a toddler for not scooping her avocado with a spoon correctly. (“Moooom, I told you to scoop it! With a spoon! Look at it!” “Yes, I scooped it with a spoon.” “No, mom, not like this. With a spoon!!” “Yes, with a spoon.” “No!! SCOOP it, with a SPOOOOON!!!”)

Okay, Spotify. If I’m listening to a playlist and I put it on shuffle, I do NOT want to hear songs that are not already on the playlist. I’m listening to a human-curated list for a reason!

A doctor’s letter to United Healthcare for denying nausea meds for a child on chemo

Instead of doomscrolling my socials endlessly this holiday season, I’ve resolved to instead open up my kindle app or a real-ass book and read instead. It’s already helped my mental health immensely. Also, I’ve discovered I’m a fan of…K-pop YA lit??

The only angry muttering I did today was at a recipe telling me to baste my sweet potatoes. (“Go fuck yourself, I’m not basting these sweet potatoes.”) If this is the only swearing I do today, I’ll call it a good day.

My kid called SpongeBob, “the big cheese guy,” and I am delighted.

It’s amazing what a little 30 minute nap can do for a girl’s mood. I’m a whole new pleasant human that doesn’t want to run away from her house and curl into a tiny ball in a pile of leaves to get away from her overly affectionate toddler.

What kind of monster wants a sweet potato casserole withOUT marshmallows?

We should care about what’s going on in Gaza for MANY reasons. But if you need a selfish one, look up “imperial boomerang.”

Weapons and practices being used out in the colonies are eventually used on citizens as well.

Black people BEEN trying to warn y’all.