Alyavalon 🏳️‍⚧️

Selfie with my hair tied back

Looking at least a little cute today

I love working my ass off for 4 months. Having to develop, implement, and train a whole new system and three days after it’s fully live go yeah nah fuck this.

I’m so exhausted. Giving every ounce of myself to this project just to have it taken away at the end. Fucking management is shite

I’m going to be sick. Fuck your liberation you piece of shit zionists

SGDQ currently has a black woman speedrunning Wolfenstein II with two black LGBTQ commentators as a chat of 45K people yells about stomping fascism and I just think that's neat. sometimes gaming is good

40 dollars spent and I got nearly all the bonus sheet Final Fantasy cards I wanted. Yay. Now if I could just afford all the others

I send hugs

Special guest art card of isshin, two heavens as one as Lightning, lone commando.

I need the Lightning version of Isshin so badly. Like I love my boy. But best girl

Ten of my favorite video games of all time, in no particular order:

Gundam battle assault 2
Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver
Jak 3
Final Fantasy IX
Tales of Berseria
God of War: Ragnarok
Space Channel 5
Fate Grand Order
Destiny 2
Mass Effect 2

You could still do it.

A picture of me when I was 21 holding an inflatable ratchet and clank ratchet

Selfie from today.

So yeah. I just needed to blurb. Happy ten years of being who I was meant to be.

Everyday since coming out has felt wonderful and yet stifling, especially in this political climate where my existence is seen as something that shouldn’t be. But I’m not changing back or to something else to fit someone else’s narrative. I’m me and I refuse to let anyone else dictate who I am.

It was a journey that took a long stay at a mental facility to realize I couldn’t keep living like that. It took me a little while to settle on being Aly. You know how it is. A transgirl trying to find the name that feels right. That calls to her.

And 2) it’s been 10 years. Ten long years since I came out. The struggles of my identity for the early parts of my life were drought with so much self hatred that even now some of it remains despite being personally happier with myself.

Today is an interesting day. A lot of reflection, a lot of happiness. But it’s all tempered with an ungodly amount of frustration. So let me start off for 1) I missed #Transdayofvisibility because of today. But to all my trans siblings I love you. Always will because you’re all so amazing.

Also sorry for bemoaning on here. I just needed to get out my thoughts

Like for instance,I’m taking the first steps on surgical fronts but at the same time I’ve been out for a decade and on hrt for 4 years. I know there’s the whole take it at your own pace. But fuck I just can’t keep going like this.

Mood is a little better today. But spent yesterday crying and wanting to die. Barely made it home because it was getting to the point I couldn’t see. It was just a lot of things collapsing in my head at once. My age, the fact I’m in a dead end job and haven’t done anything with my life.

Best witch kissing best girl

Despite medication my mood is draining. As I get closer to the later half of my 30’s every moment of my life is depression. I can’t help it. My brain is stupid. All the more reason to find a way away

Denver will miss you more.

Much monster such hunt. But also I love 14 has the ability to do this

I’m so hungry dude. Thanks

Best way to start a morning honestly

"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible make violent revolution inevitable." - JFK

I always love the way you draw Gudako. She’s so pretty

High power - Commander (Hashaton, Scarab's Fist) A deck created using Moxfield.

I don’t even know if this works or would be high powered but I kinda leaned into the whole cycling aspect a bit more. moxfield.com/decks/6lNUAw...

Covers to the three books in the folk of air series by Holly black

The folk of the Air by Holly Black

I had heard of Jude and when I found a set that was 4 of the five books with her and Carden I had to read it. Jude was such a strong girl from the very get go I loved her. Carden grew on me. And the sly spy stuff made me so giddy. It was a fun read.

TRANS LIVES MATTER!

*Remembers the existence of Brianna Wu*

MOST TRANS LIVES MATTER!