Evil Odybee 🐝🏳️‍⚧️

if movies are gonna start being over 3 hours long, i’m gonna need them to put a 10 minute intermission in there for me to go to the bathroom

remember that every time you play a “free to play” game that doesn’t have ads without spending any money on microtransactions, that company loses money. keep up the good work.

if you don’t like mint toothpaste, you’re fucked. you’re either getting something with a smiling googly-eyed fruit on it, or something thats flavor sounds like a candle from bath & bodyworks

youtube really is a beautiful place where a dental hygienist can make a channel entirely dedicated to teeth science and only teeth science and get nearly a million subscribers

i’m not very far in my transition so i just gotta sit in a library and read trans sapphic romance novels and hope people get it

Am I the Asshole for Flooding the Earth? I (14.8 billion, None) created humans (296 thousand, All).

i love liquid iv, it’s like if a jolly rancher was salty and also water

i’m gonna be giggling and kicking my feet when the ai bubble pops i swear to god

wicked if it was good:
🎵 “good neeeeeews! she’s gaaay! the witch of the west is gay!” 🎵

every time i realize im playing pokemon go i give myself the ick

i used to think nothing really gave me the ick, but i think if i was on a date with someone and they asked chatgpt something in front of me i would leave

my mom is so funny, she plays pokemon go, and when team go rocket shows up at a pokestop she mutters under her breath “i don’t like you >:(“

😭

me when i finish gooning and immediately open pokemon go

“gotta catch ‘em all!” they say, making it impossible to do so without buying at least one extra game with it

my drag name would be ms. remembering

if i ever propose to someone and they say yes im gonna post a picture of us captioned “i liked it so i put a ring on it. and by “it”, haha, well. let’s justr say. their finger”

my sleepy ass could NOT work in the mattress store honk shoo honk shoo snorrrrr mimimimimi

fun new drinking game! watch any comedy youtube video older than 5 years ago and honestly you’ll probably start drinking on your own so i guess there’s no rules necessary

you have social anxiety. i get all shy when women are nice to me. we are not the same.

i really don’t understand when uber sends you notifications begging you to use their app. “i know you’re not planning on going anywhere, but pleeeeaaaaase we really want you to”

there’d be far fewer straight women i’ll tell you that

clicking on any website is like playing five nights at freddy’s with how many things you have to click on when you first open the page before you can actually use the website

youtube shorts has ruined the youtube search function, sometimes the stupid fucking app doesn’t give you the option to click “videos” to get rid of shorts and you just can’t get any actual videos after a certain point i hate it so much

bark bark arf arf arf arrrruff arrruff arrruff! (respectfully)

worm: “would you still love me if i was a human?”

Yesterday, I Asked You to write my wedding vows one line at a time. Here are your vows that I am seeing for the first time.

“why can’t i sleep well?” *holds a glorified flashlight 1 inch away from my eyes for 10 hours a day*

texas rode house? 😳 uh, tmi

hey youtube, consider fucking off? damn alright guess i’m canceling youtube premium and finally getting a nebula subscription, jesus christ