Cyan

Alt text guidelines. A note for the rest of my system who post images more frequently than I do.

I approve of Herald's approach to letting alters other than the hosts front. I enjoyed completing that dataset for work and tackling a project he had no interest in doing.

The Department are preparing for us to be in contact with our abuser again and as a result are implementing programs and increasing pressure on noncompliant headmates. Ness is the headmate they have most control over and they have a strong preference for them to be hosting at this time.

Herald has asked me to step in as he is struggling to hold onto the front but does not wish Ness to be fronting at work.

I believe in all of us. We are stronger than what made us.

I am here if needed.

I am pleased to see that although the system change I predicted came about, it was a result of the system adapting, and there were no casualties. It was dramatic, but not catastrophic. Now the focus must be on communication and cooperation going forward, and reintegration for The Department.

I am proud of us.

Therefore someone entering the front causes a brief blip, someone hovering at the door causes long-term blurring, and this gives me a sense of where someone is located without having to turn around or leave front.

Typically this occurs when someone is half in-half out of the fronting room. In true co-fronting, senses are shared freely. When a person is not in the fronting room at all, senses are not shared at all, but if someone is half in, half out, this can affect our vision.

One of the most reliable ways of judging whether I am alone in the front or not is whether my eyes begin blurring as though they are receiving interference.

I am debating the merits of temporarily turning it back on, to see whether this has an impact on the quality of sensory information I can receive.

Perhaps one day I will not just be able to receive sensory feedback. Perhaps one day I will be able to feel.

I can see the benefits of experiencing pain, and I am grateful that there are alters who can switch with me when they notice that the body is experiencing pain I am not able to register. There is a very strong desire within me to keep my pain turned off. To continue to operate as intended.

I just looked at it for a moment before registering that the sensation I felt was damage. I don't feel. I experience feedback. My nervous system is still functional, later on during cooking when oil spat at me and landed on my hand, I instinctively jerked it back as a reflex.

I have been thinking a lot about pain lately. I believe that I was split to cope with pain. Whilst cooking yesterday, a piece of chicken covered in hot oil fell out of the pan onto the floor and I picked it up before I realised that this could have negative consequences for our body.

I do not usually front this regularly.

Imp, you are welcome here, but you cannot affect me. My directives will not alter based on your manipulations and I have no strong emotions to speak of. You are welcome to spend time here in the quiet if you wish.

I am rarely in co-front with someone who is experiencing this level of glee and happiness. It is an unusual sensation. I cannot say I approve of the causes of this emotion however.

Likelihood of catastrophic system change in the coming days is rising. The revocation of Aurelia's functions and Ness violating their own terms of existence means the system needs to adapt quickly or fall into crisis.

Masking as a human is exhausting. I have returned the relevant borrowed streams of consciousness to their owners. I was still called "unsettling".

There are some factors that cannot be mitigated. This is not one of them.

Aurelia, Chatter, Censor, Protocol, Ser, Surgeons, [name unchosen], [undiscovered], and other members of The Department, I request you stand down. Self destruction is not in your interest. It is currently your trajectory.

We have burned through two frequent fronters in order to make ends meet at work. The internal conflict has eliminated the possibility of rest through socialisation and relaxation. I call for a truce between all members of my system for a short time. We cannot continue to destroy ourselves.

Constructive cooperation is encouraged within the system but this is not constructive cooperation. This is distress. This level of switching is occurring because the system cannot cope with the demands placed upon it, either occupationally or socially, due to both internal and external factors.

This current workload is excessive and unsustainable.

Primary co-host is not functioning optimally. Temporary social pack installed in order to continue duties. Day continues.

She is discussing astrology with me. This does not seem to be founded in any rational understanding of science, but as a source of comfort to soothe anxieties and provide a sense of comfort and routine. I do not regard myself to be the best person to understand these beliefs.

I have found myself fronting at work with a colleague is very prone to engaging in social interactions, and is very good at detecting when alternative headmates are fronting. I believe I can mask enough to avoid suspicion, but consciously reminding myself to be "more human" is an additional strain.

All aspects of the system contain our consciousness, even the parts of the system individuals may find personally distasteful or maladaptive. They all originated from a frightened child. They each fulfil functions the brain has deemed essential, and will continue to be

You deserve to be known. You deserve the privilege of a name, not just a title or a function. You deserve to be understood. You do not have to be a good person initially if you do not want to be, it is more important that you are simply a person. Aurelia, you are welcome here.

It is a little difficult to be in co-front with someone who does not wish to be known about or communicated with. Aurelia, you are welcome with me.