Englishman in New Jorts's Avatar

Englishman in New Jorts

@spanielapplause

Fitness freak | Security expert | Father to three or four wonderful young boys | Comedy writer/producer/man at Next Level Sketch | Improv with Michelle Impro

255
Followers
226
Following
38
Posts
02.10.2023
Joined
Posts Following

Latest posts by Englishman in New Jorts @spanielapplause

Reform supporters love to suggest that all young people are idiots who don't know anything and that's why 16-year-olds shouldn't have the vote but they simultaneously proudly proclaim that loads of young people love Reform even though they really fucking don't and Reform ONLY leads with people 65+.

13.03.2026 10:34 πŸ‘ 239 πŸ” 21 πŸ’¬ 15 πŸ“Œ 2

A lot of discussion right now about How To Fix All This and one of my ideas is the Toddler New Deal. Policies based on stuff like "Clean up after yourself" and "You have to share with the other kids"

12.03.2026 13:11 πŸ‘ 1504 πŸ” 279 πŸ’¬ 16 πŸ“Œ 4

Corbyn was next on hit list - literally the next name on a literal list of targets - of the white nationalist terrorist who murdered an elderly man at Finsbury Park Mosque and itβ€˜s telling how it’s been memoryholed.

10.03.2026 20:58 πŸ‘ 37 πŸ” 8 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0
The New Statesman 2 @NewSt... 3h X THE GREAT BRITISH CRISIS by John Bew
We are in the midst of the Fourth Great Disruption of the modern British state. Our politics, across every part of the political spectrum, is lagging perilously behind the realities we face.
The fidelity of our political and official classes to the current order comes from an assumption, deeply ingrained in the generation who are coming close to retirement, that liberal or social-market economies were the only possible future and that the rest of the world was destined to become more like us. It is partly why austerity
- like appeasement - had far more political support than we care to remember. It is why we spent 0.7 per cent of GDP on development assistance at the start of the last decade and barely 2 per cent on defence. It is why, after 1989, we added even more international and human rights law on top of the international legal order crafted out of 1945. It is why Brexit was such a psychological shock to this world-view. It is why we sometimes look like the last man at the bar at Davos, nursing a cocktail as the lights go off and facing a treacherous and icy route to an unclear destination.
So as one world collapses around us, what is the shape of things to come? Here are some hard truths. The current social contract - particularly around welfare, health and pensions - is unsustainable on current
+
of growth. A domestic and internationa system that does not allow us to control our borders has lost legitimacy at home. We have

The New Statesman 2 @NewSt... 3h X THE GREAT BRITISH CRISIS by John Bew We are in the midst of the Fourth Great Disruption of the modern British state. Our politics, across every part of the political spectrum, is lagging perilously behind the realities we face. The fidelity of our political and official classes to the current order comes from an assumption, deeply ingrained in the generation who are coming close to retirement, that liberal or social-market economies were the only possible future and that the rest of the world was destined to become more like us. It is partly why austerity - like appeasement - had far more political support than we care to remember. It is why we spent 0.7 per cent of GDP on development assistance at the start of the last decade and barely 2 per cent on defence. It is why, after 1989, we added even more international and human rights law on top of the international legal order crafted out of 1945. It is why Brexit was such a psychological shock to this world-view. It is why we sometimes look like the last man at the bar at Davos, nursing a cocktail as the lights go off and facing a treacherous and icy route to an unclear destination. So as one world collapses around us, what is the shape of things to come? Here are some hard truths. The current social contract - particularly around welfare, health and pensions - is unsustainable on current + of growth. A domestic and internationa system that does not allow us to control our borders has lost legitimacy at home. We have

Okay, so the Thatcherite consensus went kaboom in 2008; we somehow managed to prop it up and keep staggering on with a desperate last ditch effort until 2024, and now it’s collapsing entirely, at the same time as the Pax Americana. I don’t think we can blame this on human rights or international aid

11.03.2026 10:46 πŸ‘ 70 πŸ” 16 πŸ’¬ 10 πŸ“Œ 1
Cclegraph
'Cambridge has been infected by trans activism. We're launching a battle for women's rights'

Cclegraph 'Cambridge has been infected by trans activism. We're launching a battle for women's rights'

Again, the business of British newspapers is in large part just recruiting and exploiting the most bizarre cranks you can find for your horrible, unrelenting reactionary projects. IIRC the one on the right here is the daughter of a Times arts columnist, who is also a committed Gender War wacko.

10.03.2026 12:36 πŸ‘ 453 πŸ” 81 πŸ’¬ 32 πŸ“Œ 30
Preview
Next Level Sketch - Canal Cafe Theatre Next Level Sketch are performing a Greatest Hits set of their very stupidest sketches from the past six years., performed as part of SketchFest 2026.

We're doing SketchFest this year! And our first show is at the Canal Cafe Theatre on Tuesday 17 March at 9pm: canalcafetheatre.com/our-shows/ne...

09.03.2026 14:22 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

A trans person drawing on a statue with chalk got comment from the Home Secretary and coverage on TV and in all the main papers.

A female Green MP being harassed and abused in the street by transphobes gets nothing...

#JustProtectingWomen

09.03.2026 13:15 πŸ‘ 712 πŸ” 212 πŸ’¬ 5 πŸ“Œ 0

Wonder whether all the MPs who are first to take to the telly & wail & rend their clothes at MP safety bc some no mark called them a stinky poo bum online will be cautioning against the escalating smears of the Greens as extremists or will they just shrug & carry on

09.03.2026 08:56 πŸ‘ 62 πŸ” 9 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0
SYED
Enemies like Iran will exploit liberal naivety until we're destroyed
For too long we've been ruled by progressives who have forgotten to defend the West, but Trumpism may be no better
Matthew Syed
Saturday March 07 2026, 11.00pm GMT, The Sunday βœ–οΈ

SYED Enemies like Iran will exploit liberal naivety until we're destroyed For too long we've been ruled by progressives who have forgotten to defend the West, but Trumpism may be no better Matthew Syed Saturday March 07 2026, 11.00pm GMT, The Sunday βœ–οΈ

This is just emboldened idiocy, here: a dumbass who is rarely told β€œno”. Take a look at who and what has and has not been β€œdestroyed” here. Is it us?

08.03.2026 17:14 πŸ‘ 68 πŸ” 11 πŸ’¬ 12 πŸ“Œ 3

The BBC did this with a dishevelled, plainly still-pissed Johnson many years ago now.

08.03.2026 17:15 πŸ‘ 84 πŸ” 14 πŸ’¬ 4 πŸ“Œ 0

NATO policy on USA waging war on the world

08.03.2026 13:59 πŸ‘ 89 πŸ” 14 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
A fake ai prompt where i have written draw a capybara having a relaxing bath and am waiting on a human pretending to be an ai to respond

A fake ai prompt where i have written draw a capybara having a relaxing bath and am waiting on a human pretending to be an ai to respond

The response to the prompt, a basic drawing (from a human) of a capybara in water with a little heart above him

The response to the prompt, a basic drawing (from a human) of a capybara in water with a little heart above him

Oh my god

Lmao

youraislopbores.me

06.03.2026 15:36 πŸ‘ 121 πŸ” 45 πŸ’¬ 5 πŸ“Œ 24
I once did a Cambridge Union debate β€œThis House Believes Western Military Intervention Has Done More Harm Than Good” in which an amazing Vietnamese student and Malcolm Rifkind (bizarrely) were on my side, Tom Harwood, the CEO of the IEA, and some braying posho student were on the opposite side. We both won the debate, and had the biggest swing to our side. Me and Rifkind just spoke without notes, relaxed and without prep, Harwood was sweating like shit, and stuttering through some printed notes, and had about 8 students point out factial innaccuracies. Me, Rifkind and Harwood were all in the same hotel so they booked one cab for us. Rifkind came up to me before and said β€œLet’s go for a drink but go to our rooms first so we lose the cokehead”. We then had two whiskies where he asked me about my background, and both said I was more talented than his son and said he was shocked Hugo got into Oxbridge because he’s β€œnot remotely intellectually gifted.”

I once did a Cambridge Union debate β€œThis House Believes Western Military Intervention Has Done More Harm Than Good” in which an amazing Vietnamese student and Malcolm Rifkind (bizarrely) were on my side, Tom Harwood, the CEO of the IEA, and some braying posho student were on the opposite side. We both won the debate, and had the biggest swing to our side. Me and Rifkind just spoke without notes, relaxed and without prep, Harwood was sweating like shit, and stuttering through some printed notes, and had about 8 students point out factial innaccuracies. Me, Rifkind and Harwood were all in the same hotel so they booked one cab for us. Rifkind came up to me before and said β€œLet’s go for a drink but go to our rooms first so we lose the cokehead”. We then had two whiskies where he asked me about my background, and both said I was more talented than his son and said he was shocked Hugo got into Oxbridge because he’s β€œnot remotely intellectually gifted.”

boy have I got good news for you

06.03.2026 09:15 πŸ‘ 196 πŸ” 37 πŸ’¬ 14 πŸ“Œ 3

I'm reminded of the BBC summarizing the 2019 general election as "Labour lost the working class but won the woke" (verbatim quote), and then also seeing polls showing that every working-age demographic voted majority Labour. However, when there's 11 billion pensioners, and 10.999 billion vote Tory,

06.03.2026 09:47 πŸ‘ 236 πŸ” 27 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 0
Left can't resist being on wrong side of a war
Whether it's Jeremy Corbyn or Zack Polanski, their foreign policy stances terrify voters outside core supporters

Left can't resist being on wrong side of a war Whether it's Jeremy Corbyn or Zack Polanski, their foreign policy stances terrify voters outside core supporters

Well, here’s the thing about being antiwar as an ethical belief: it means you end up opposing most wars. Almost all of them, in fact. This is quite common in people who have consistent beliefs but looks insane to people who have none, or mostly just believe superior people should make the decisions.

05.03.2026 13:19 πŸ‘ 4656 πŸ” 766 πŸ’¬ 150 πŸ“Œ 56

just realised what starmer’s expression of here and elsewhere reminds me of and it’s william h macy in fargo lmao

05.03.2026 12:32 πŸ‘ 55 πŸ” 19 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

This is such a perfect snapshot of how completely disconnected Starmer's Labour are from a) the public and b) reality. A hedge of florid gibberish concealing a void.

03.03.2026 09:46 πŸ‘ 38 πŸ” 8 πŸ’¬ 5 πŸ“Œ 0

If Reform had won, Labour's statement would be that this result is a stark reminder we need to listen and learn from voters who rightly feel betrayed by modern politics.

But the Greens won by a comfortable margin, so it's: these voters are stupid and also sinister and, ugh, Muslims

28.02.2026 09:31 πŸ‘ 2240 πŸ” 616 πŸ’¬ 13 πŸ“Œ 8

Or, many in this govt are behaving as if they don't care about winning the next election, but just want a few years on a power trip before getting some well-paid jobs outside politics, which would be jeopardized if they moved left.

28.02.2026 12:58 πŸ‘ 29 πŸ” 11 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 1

this feels like a test a lot of people, especially in the media, failed with Venezuela too. it’s not like the only choices are β€œeither you let America do something absolutely BONKERS ILLEGAL in a foreign country or you’re saying you endorse 100% of everything bad that happens there”

………. neither???

28.02.2026 08:03 πŸ‘ 334 πŸ” 81 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
Nick Cohen's article about the shamelessness of Zack Polanski

Nick Cohen's article about the shamelessness of Zack Polanski

This might surprise people who aren't from the UK, but over here there's a publication that, in order to write for it, you have to be a sex offender.

28.02.2026 09:11 πŸ‘ 1172 πŸ” 223 πŸ’¬ 27 πŸ“Œ 13
Post image

On the one hand sure, I agree! On the other, most of these people probably voted Labour in the late 2010s, some of them enthusiastically, and the entire pundit class spent five years baying for Sir Keir to annihilate that type of person. So it’s perhaps not surprising if he’s a bit confused, now.

27.02.2026 22:11 πŸ‘ 56 πŸ” 9 πŸ’¬ 5 πŸ“Œ 0

Smashed it

27.02.2026 08:25 πŸ‘ 183 πŸ” 23 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0
sex matters trustee charlotte cadden

sex matters trustee charlotte cadden

gorton and denton by-election result: she gets 706 votes, 1.9% of the total

gorton and denton by-election result: she gets 706 votes, 1.9% of the total

underappreciated but very funny gorton and denton sideplot: the conservatives nominating literal sex matters (uk terf group) trustee charlotte cadden, only for her to get the worst result for the conservatives in by-election history and lose her deposit

27.02.2026 10:21 πŸ‘ 2053 πŸ” 607 πŸ’¬ 45 πŸ“Œ 95

It's so hilarious that they're trying the whole "extremes on the left" thing when everyone just watched a plumber with totally regular degular liberal politics get elected. These people are utterly cooked in the media political London bubble, they think everyone hates trans people and drugs.

27.02.2026 11:42 πŸ‘ 201 πŸ” 58 πŸ’¬ 5 πŸ“Œ 3
cez
@cezthesocialist

Matt Goodwin won’t be canvassing today for the by-election he is standing in tomorrow because he will be busy at a hearing defending himself from allegations of election fraud.

9:46 AM Β· Feb 25, 2026

cez @cezthesocialist Matt Goodwin won’t be canvassing today for the by-election he is standing in tomorrow because he will be busy at a hearing defending himself from allegations of election fraud. 9:46 AM Β· Feb 25, 2026

πŸ‘¨β€πŸ³πŸ‘Œ

25.02.2026 11:58 πŸ‘ 101 πŸ” 32 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 3

Surprise! The transphobic obsession of the ruling and media classes aren’t held by voters

25.02.2026 09:34 πŸ‘ 197 πŸ” 78 πŸ’¬ 4 πŸ“Œ 1

This is truly vile & I hope Polanski is keeping track of the incidents of racsim he is regularly subjected to. But I will say, I've still not seen a *single* centrist antisemitism hawk who swoops into action at the merest whiff of it on the left condemn the now rife antisemitism against Polanski

24.02.2026 20:55 πŸ‘ 183 πŸ” 53 πŸ’¬ 9 πŸ“Œ 1

Thanks to technology, bananas are becoming obsolete as pretend phones. The future belongs to the Pop-Tart.

24.02.2026 05:02 πŸ‘ 1676 πŸ” 336 πŸ’¬ 26 πŸ“Œ 23
Post image Post image

This is how their concerns and qualms began with both Me Too and Operation Yew Tree: all of this stuff looks like β€œmob justice” to these lads, by which they mean β€œimportant people like them being accountable before the law, like everyone else is”.

24.02.2026 07:11 πŸ‘ 357 πŸ” 90 πŸ’¬ 17 πŸ“Œ 11