SkrumpBumpky

Everyone, meet Stanshall 🥰

@foldablehuman.bsky.social Do you think the titular Henry from The Book of Henry would be an ape and super into crypto?

So... You're not up for a threesome?

*Did You Know Gaming Voice*

Did you know? Backstreet's back, alright

Joining a 5 person Minecraft server would fix me

Silly prank: Doing carpel tunnel release surgery on the first guy to fall asleep at the party

Surely Rouge would just steal a copy

Just did a backflip, wasn't recording tho lol

I can't believe you would ask me this, on the day of my Daughter's wedding

Holding the right hand joy-con upsidedown changed my life!

Glad you're doing better

The woke Post Malone would be called Post Orgasm Torture

In order for me to write poetry that isn't political, I must listen to the birds and in order to hear the birds the warplanes must be silent -Marwan Makhoul

My favourite 3D sonic game is the one where something incredibly stupid happens

I like how Leslie isn't even looking at the guy, like she hasn't even noticed him because she's so angry about something she saw on twitter

Fuck yeah, hit me up top little guys

American typewriters don't have a bell to let you know you've reached the end of the page, instead they fire a 9mm round

My favourite thing about The Beatles is that if someone asks "Do you think they explored each other's bodies", the answer is yes and we have proof

This is the kinda shit I've been on lately

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day! If you're not, there will be consequences

Congratulations!!! Hope you have a wonderful day planned 😊

I am the pigeon king. Never forget.

Sharing my favourite poem for National Poetry Day:

There once was a man from Cancun
Who dreamt he could fart to the moon
He flopped as a rocket
And shat in his pocket
And died in a toxic typhoon

The water meadow is looking beautiful today

Entering AI prompt: Write an episode script in the style of Season 3 of Columbo, in which Detective Columbo investigates Jeffrey Epstein

AI: I'm sorry, I am not allowed to generate this prompt because it is too good

Me: Yes, I like to be naked when I poo. So what? It's a free country, and quite frankly, what I do in the privacy of the bathroom is none of your business.

My Boss: That's true, but we'd prefer if you waited until you were in the bathroom before you take your clothes off.

Of course, it would be the only way to find out where you stashed the gold

I am not "letting the demons win", I have entered into a mutually beneficial arrangement known as a "blood pact"