Matt 🍓

I’m sorry. This is who the US have facing down Putin?

Oh no! Iran has done the one thing in its power to massively harm the global economy!

Who would have predicted that this would happen after simply killing their entire government!

😕 🍪

"yes 100% agreed, and you're asking *exactly* the right questions"
oh my god codex SHUT UP

Feels like it’s approaching max on some scale…

I feel like over the last 15 years or so we've gotten to a real weird place with jerking off

Yes, hello, is that God? Yeah, hi. I have a complaint. You gave me this brain that’s designed for finding berries and avoiding lions and now people are ‘just circling back’ to see if we can ‘move the needle’ on ‘key initiatives’? NONE of those things are berries.

“Very complete, pretty much”

“I have concepts of a plan.”

I’m sorry. But these thicc str8 bros lifting their shirt to wipe their face, while showing off abs and cum gutters, WHILE I AM SQUATTING is going to kill me.

NO NO NO YOU DON’T

GUYS LET ME PLEASE SPREAD THE GOSPEL OF FREE TAX USA

federal is free, state is $16, handles even my chaotic freelancer taxes just fine, same step-by-step “designed for normies” kind of interface as TurboTax but NOT EVIL

tell everyone you know

www.freetaxusa.com

love how we killed the old, frail anti-nuke ayatollah just to have him replaced with his young, healthy son who wants nukes and who just had his father, mother, wife, and child murdered on the same day by his mortal enemy. surely this will bring peace to the region

#internationalwomensday

The sluttiest thing a man can do is run shirtless in public.

This is how I was born. Literal footage of the joyous day.

don’t forget to destroy your clocks tonight, walk away from your mortgage, just start driving, you’re free

Exclusive: AI Error Likely Led to Iran Girl's School Bombing Pentagon investigators believe a bombing of a girls' school in Iran on Saturday likely resulted from inaccurate information provided by AI.

Local Massachusetts weekly says it's confirmed that the Pentagon was relying on Claude for strike targeting, which is how they came to bomb a girls' school.
thisweekinworcester.com/exclusive-ai...

Love a Pisco Sour.

Mike Johnson: “He’s absolutely right.”

“I’m not sure if being skeptical is the right approach.”

First they came for the trans people, and I said nothing because I wasn’t trans. Then they were like actually I’m pretty sure you are trans and I said no I’m not and they went okay well show us your penis then and I said what no get out of my face and they said that one’s a girl get her

Someone in my mentions points out that he hasn't golfed in weeks.

Markwayne Mullin, flip it around…

I think Joe Rogan is such a good example of a chain only being as strong as its weakest link.

Steve-O got a ruptured testicle by letting one of his castmates jump on his crotch with a pogo stick and he is unquestionably more morally sophisticated than most of our sitting lawmakers

Are we aware how good tucker carlson’s merch is?

I would buy them all if it didn’t mean giving money to The Enemy.

Let’s talk about this ad combo on a travel review site that I just got.

LMAO

If human rights are limited to certain groups, they are not really human rights, are they?

I don’t want to share the video because it’s pretty graphic, but apparently we’re at the ‘Republican Senator breaks the arm of a Marine IN FULL DRESS because that marine was protesting the Republicans starting a war of choice with Iran’ stage of things.