08.03.2026 13:55
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He looks like Roman 😭
To the toilet 😭
This is unrelated to poop and completely related to me cutting wire and having it snap back right into my eye
My goal right now is to be able to drink Gatorade and then not immediately shoot liquid out my butt. Pray for me 🙏
I just almost shot my eye out
It’s not fun
Big Kahuna 😭
iranians checking social media and seeing how many americans are rooting for it to finish the job
So the “I told you so” was strong even if you had no idea 😭😭😭
I thought of you this morning saying you never go there 😭
Y’all kept telling me private equity ruined Jersey Mikes and how y’all won’t ever go now and I just kept being loyal. Welp, 3 hours in the bathroom this morning finally changed my mind. I’m never going back. 🤮💩
Pretty sure I’m suffering some major hair loss and I’m just in denial. Coolcoolcool.
$65 to fill my gas tank just now (I wasn’t on E but close)
I got these bc of y’all. They’re so good I keep eating them even though I hear Wilford Brimley whispering “diabeetus” in my ear like a siren song
Feels like such a fun surprise. You only get to see it if you make me smile
Also have more people been getting the smiley piercing bc of Alyssa Liu bc I kind of want one
I like the way you think
Right?!?
If anyone wants to get me a birthday present 😁 …before I break down and just get it for myself
Fucked around and went to look at a new septum ring bc I want one that’s a little bigger and blingy-er and of course I fell in love with a $1000 one 😂🤦♀️
I want to learn how to skateboard. Where can I get a cheap beginner board? I have a nice flat trail with a straight away behind my apartment that will be perfect to teach myself. I taught myself how to ride a bike by myself at 16 so this seems adjacent
Yuck
Ew they’re already “celebrating” St Patty’s. I’m sorry
How did you spend your Saturday night? Bc I spent it falling to my knees at 8:57pm (3 mins before closing) at a Trader Joe’s muttering “please don’t be discontinued Cherry Pistachio Pecan Granola!” over and over before an employee pointed out that it was one shelf above where I had been looking
I really wish these fucking freaks would stop thinking about our children. Doesn’t that seem to be the crux of all this fucked up shit? Grown men’s obsession with children
Do it. We need to realize exactly WTF we’re actually up against.
Look at this energy man.
It can always be like this.
America always howling about nuclear threats, is the only country to ever drop a nuke on anyone…two actually.
And now a dementia ridden, terminally ill narcissist with raging sadism who will happily burn the world down before he dies has started a fckn war and has the nuclear codes.
Congress: 🤷♂️ 🤷♀️
Now more than ever I’m convinced losing Anthony Bourdain meant we lost probably the biggest person on tv who advocated for the wonders of meeting new people and calling anyone online who hated learning new cultures the children they were, ruthlessly to the camera.