Sam Worthington 🍥

Make Crude, not War

My dad put our family dog down after it twisted its ankle

The avatar press tour per diem has officially been burned through and I am back to work at Ikea. Manager is giving my another shot at the main restaurant, lots of new menu items makes it busy, but the second I start telling people to buy a blu ray my ass is back to 2nd restaurant, or so he says

When I get into a heated argument I have a tendency to mix up the words narcissist and narcoleptic, and I’ve learned it actually really throws people off because we all are secretly worried we’re saying/doing some weird shit in our sleep

The Secret to Papa Murohy’s pizza is the way they slaughter the chicken

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Pretend this looks like a sphere

It’s not international women’s day, give it a rest

I know what that room smells like

What did they say about the vile breed Quebecois???

My grandfather described something just as such to me almost 20 years ago. It came to bring his late mother across the river styx when he was just a boy

Listen, I’ve been the guy on set asking to NOT have a go pro attached to my dick. It’s awkward, it feels uncomfortable, but ITS 2025 FOLKS and we have to be the change we want to see

Ants are kind of fucking hilarious, they find a single crumb and they’re like, I’ll eat for a week!

You walked so that others could sit

When I was reading this I actually rolled my eyes so hard the bus I was on crashed

I’m sorry but removing one of your car’s headlights, even for a shitpost, is considered a felony. You will be reported to the relevant authorities

When I worked at ikea there was this yappy little terrier we all hated and its owner came in for a ekenabenn, and while he was picking it up in the warehouse part that little ratty mutt got his ass caught between the boxes and crushed between a fjallbo and a bjorkoviken. Smushed flat as a burhult.

Lots of actors share that dream

Algorithm is fucked up for showing me this

It hurt teenage-me’s chances of getting laid

When watching a movie it’s a scientific fact that your ass falls asleep at the exact time your bladder is nearest to bursting, and these forces oppose each other and heal your soul. This is God’s plan, go see Avatar again

Welcome to da good life buddy

Kinda weird how these AIs that were supposed to do a decade’s worth of cancer research in a day are spending most of their time making prejac shit for pedos but that’s just the invisible hand of the market I guess

I’ve looked at the box office for avatar 3, and folks, 2026 is gonna be just fine

I can tell you I did pitch a mid credits scene that connected the Smurfs to Pandora, but I must also say James Cameron and Stephen Lang stuffed me into a locker immediately following said meeting

Sorry been kinda quiet for me. When James Cameron said that stuff about maybe not making avatar 4-6 I went into a downward spiral. I got drunk, showed up at Zoe’s Saldana’s house and asked her to marry me. I think she is already married though I guess? Either way, I went to ikea and cooled off

Hope it’s not too inside Hollywood for anyone but I got to direct a bit of the 2nd unit on avatar 3 and got immediately fired for encouraging most of the extras to “go grinch mode”. I was pretty nervous so I did get sorta drunk both times

Everybody says I’m doing fine. Everybody is saying that I’m not fucking it all up

I get 0.1% of all Blu Ray sales so you can imagine why I feel a little upset

I just heard the Matt Damon stuff and I literally spit out my Baja blast

Welcome to Avatar #3 Ladies and gentle man.
My skin maybe permanently dyed blue, but it wa worth it for ur pleasure and enjoyment