✨Saphie✨

I think I'm starting to get it lads 😭

#varflins #genshinimpact #wipsandsketches

Best sketch I've whipped up in a long while~
I love them

#varflins #genshinimpact #wipsandsketches

Genshin clothes make my brain melt 😭

I know I keep saying it, but I love the pencils~
Also, these two live rent-free in my head lately

#VarFlins #Varka #KyryllChudomirovichFlins #Flins #GenshinImpact #wipsandsketches

Gonna have a rewatch of The Tudors while I draw some self-indulgent VarFlins because why not?

I'm determined to get out of this funk

My desk is a mess lol. I've been too and fro from hospital with my friend, who I've been insanely worried about and I also feel like I'm tethered to my car. Learning a new art programme has knocked my confidence because I wanted to know it straight away, and even I know life doesn't work like that

Today I am going to tidy up my computer desk and try to draw! I think a few things are going on with me which has been blocking my creativity lately.

Just to clarify, I have ADHD, and a massive part of that is crippling depression and low self-esteem. I am fully aware this is what's happening, but that doesn't mean it doesn't blow and I hate it, and no doctor where I am wants to touch me and help me medicate it because I'm not a pubescent teen.

I'm in one of those moods where I can't settle on an activity, and my brain being all:
"The game you're playing is boring."
"You're crap at writing."
"You're even WORSE at drawing, don't even try, lol."
Like... I want to do SOMETHING but she won't let me because I apparently suck at everything :C

Hospital again today, here's hoping it starts to calm down a bit now that my buddy is getting the treatment they need to live a relatively pain free life.

Like, I hate hospitals, but the NHS has really come through for them and I am so happy to see their health improve so much!

Hhhh I love them, thank you so so much! 💕💕

So my friend who lives with me has been having routine tests done to sort out their meds, and I've been chaperoning. Honest to God, I would do ANYTHING for them, I love them so damn much. But I am mighty tired of hospitals now 😭

🫂

Because I was raised... the way I was lol, I never watched a lot of these classics as a kid. I only saw Labyrinth a couple of years ago, and every time my husband and my friends are like "What do you MEAN you never saw this movie! It's timeless and amazing!" I feel like I've seriously missed out.

Just spent the last 2 hours watching Ladyhawke with my friend. Ah, things you do for a new RP plot xD

And no, I had never seen it before today... It was pretty good!

Dearest Flins.
You're hard to draw.
Go fuck yourself.
Thanks.

I do adore the pencils~

#GenshinImpact #Flins #wipsandsketches

Am headache free tonight! So once I've had dinner, I shall DRAW!!

Genshin Impact again, though... sorry xD Varka and Flins are kinda taking up space in the ole head meat.

Right? The amount of people that are like "just join the gym!" And like... Do I just like... Walk in and start lifting weights? I don't know what to do! Plus I'm super self conscious and think I'm all lumpy and ugly so I don't want to think people are laughing at me even though they probably aren't

It might be different regulations here, but it could also be a shit doctor, I've had plenty of those xD

I used to be on metformin but because I'm not diabetic they won't let me have it anymore. I need to go back to the doctors and see if there's anything they can do for me tbh

Like, I'm not classed as obese but I am overweight for my height. Thing is I have PCOS so I gain weight just by looking at fattening food, and losing it is so fucking difficult. I should do it for my health really, I guess I'm using the event as an incentive? Idk, it's stressing me out lol

I don't really know? There's a group of us going. My husband and our friend are going as Helldivers, and my other friend suggested a couple of Genshin characters. I'd love to cosplay Varka but then there's the whole costume and makeup debacle lol, but first I need to get my weight under control

I'm already so freaking stressed out by this

Thing is I don't want to join a gym because I won't know what to even do in one. I'd prefer classes I think where I have an instructor but that means going after work and disrupting my routine which I rely on for my mental health

So I'm being bullied into going to a cosplay event next year...

Time to stop being fat I guess 😞

It's literally only just started to lift, but now it's too late to do anything fun. >:C