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Carlon Groiss

@carloncarpenter

Ball knower. I do other things too, but not very well. πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έβš½οΈ

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01.07.2023
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Latest posts by Carlon Groiss @carloncarpenter

but when will it get better, Mike.

10.03.2026 21:32 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
Carl Carpenter’s profile Carl uses Letterboxd to share film reviews and lists. 144 films watched. Favorites: Ratatouille (2007), Paris, Texas (1984), There Will Be Blood (2007), Heat (1995).

boxd.it/9rtPX Here's the Letterboxd.

10.03.2026 21:23 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Im not sure what I did wrong to get so many new followers this week, but welcome! You will likely regret it!

10.03.2026 21:22 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I misspell *that* to *thst* on my phone so much that it’s just gone β€œfuck it” and autocorrects it to the latter now.

09.03.2026 15:41 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
Screenshot of dashboard:

"How your team scores: MLS xg data"
various stat breakdowns and pitch graphic with shots shown as dots below

Screenshot of dashboard: "How your team scores: MLS xg data" various stat breakdowns and pitch graphic with shots shown as dots below

It took me a sec, but the xG dashboard is back for 2026!

For those who weren't here last season, the dashboard uses @jamonm.bsky.social & @carloncarpenter.bsky.social's WGCF principles to break down MLS shots.

Built using @americansocceranalysis.com data.

public.tableau.com/app/profile/...

09.03.2026 05:11 πŸ‘ 56 πŸ” 10 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 1
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Life is good

09.03.2026 09:33 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

The Seattle Sounders Honolulu Classic doesn’t appeal to you?????

07.03.2026 23:36 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

All im saying is: if I was involved, I would’ve had Rome built in a day.

07.03.2026 21:19 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Thats my street name (the streets being Vienna)

07.03.2026 20:44 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

It is here, the USWNT just respects me more

07.03.2026 20:36 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0
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Photo I took today is basically a Sam Fender cover

07.03.2026 20:35 πŸ‘ 3 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

to be fair - Gotta defend the deep ball when Judge is at bat.

07.03.2026 19:56 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Friends fear he’s on the tram listening to the new American Football single on repeat on his way for a pint in the city

06.03.2026 17:51 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Matt Turner on here

04.03.2026 13:25 πŸ‘ 7 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

The β€œadd to cart” button on these Harry Styles tickets are looking at me like the Green Goblin mask

04.03.2026 09:44 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I just loaded up Animal Crossing for the first time in 5 years and Tom Nook tried to shoot me.

02.03.2026 15:40 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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One of my favourite sides of politics/media.

02.03.2026 10:20 πŸ‘ 13562 πŸ” 4301 πŸ’¬ 132 πŸ“Œ 177

Media blackout?

Hit em with the media WHITEOUT

01.03.2026 21:06 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

"fell off a guard tower in WWII type stuff"

01.03.2026 19:54 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

I’m not going to tell you that you have to enjoy it, far from it.

However, a team scoring a goal isnt the collapse of western civilisation, I promise you that.

The game is cyclical. Things will change, and then you can find something else to be mad about!

01.03.2026 19:43 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Quite honestly, the amount of moral hand wringing going on about the State Of The Game is incredibly funny to me.

01.03.2026 19:41 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 2 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

When will she start believing and finally start achieving though. Please have some gumption, girl.

01.03.2026 19:26 πŸ‘ 5 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Fair! You’d be surprised at those who do complain either way!

01.03.2026 18:38 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Remarkable that Chelsea’s recruitment team spent so much money on the collectively the most braindead group of players known to man.

01.03.2026 18:30 πŸ‘ 10 πŸ” 3 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 1

Believe it or not, I’m not getting paid to watch Arsenal v Chelsea!

01.03.2026 18:25 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

How can I blame this on Doc Rivers

01.03.2026 18:10 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Blame StatsBomb for this imo

01.03.2026 18:06 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Everyone realises you don’t have to watch this if you don’t want to, right?

(Unless you are paid to then too bad)

01.03.2026 18:03 πŸ‘ 6 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 1

Nice to see PRO’s incompetence has continued for another thrilling season!

01.03.2026 12:31 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°

28.02.2026 00:03 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0