Kristi Payne

I would never think of it as juvenile. It’s a charming name IMO.

Guess you just haven’t had your radio UuuuUUUuupppp.

Notes app entry that says: Day 1, April 15 Settled @ hotel ~2:00 Nap? Walk, eat, drink Day 2, April 16 Montmartre/Sacre Cœur (bring the lock!) Café des Deux Moulins Eiffel Tower Seine Cruise 7:30-8:00? Place St. Michel (?) Day 3, April 17 Bus day Champs Élysées, Notre Dame, etc. Le Marais/Place des Vosges 59 Rivoli Art Center? Maison de Whiskey Jazz club Le Duc des Lombards Day 4, April 18 Musée d’Orsay Place de la Concorde Rue St. Honoré area Galeries Lafayette (Haussmann) rooftop Anything we didn’t get to/decided we want to do

Us: We’re just going to vibe in France. We’re not going to be on any schedule.

Also us, six weeks out:

We use to throw shoes at presidents this stupid.

Big if true.

Yep. Saw it as high as $5.15/gal in South Alabama today. I don’t think I saw it below $5 anywhere.

Abby Jane, every photo I see of you looks incrementally more confident. There’s a real glow about you in this one!

A fried pickle plank that’s shaped like a vagina for some reason

I see your dicken tender and raise you our picklussy from yesterday morning.

Why would you NOT want it when you’re at your happiest and most relaxed, with more than usual free time?

That’s an extremely simplified version, but you cannot fake a relationship as open, warm and comfortable as they have with one another. It was a completely foreign concept to me, but it was so beautiful. 4 1/2 yrs later, he still wakes up every day and chooses to be the sweetest man alive.

We’d been dating casually but increasingly frequently for a couple of months, then I met and watched him interact with his teenagers (he’s custodial) and realized he was GENUINELY as nice/kind/caring as he’d seemed to be. Later that night he just stood in his kitchen holding me for like 2 hours.

We’ve got to fill up in a beach tourist town for the drive home tomorrow 🫣

THANK YOU for your bravery. Someone had to say it.

owner: you got that sculpture for out front of my ice cream store done?

sculptor: sure do boss. real fucking sexy just like you asked

owner: what

A pair of Naked Wolfe brand sneakerinas in black suede

I shopped this style for a solid week and I’ve got these on the way!

This International Women's Day, please remember that trans women are women. Full stop. No qualifiers.

We’re at the table with three of our kids, aged 18-20, and they are avoiding that pickle like the absolute plague. I told my partner to eat it, slowly and seductively, and make them watch.

A vagina shaped fried pickle plank

Happy International Women’s Day to all who celebrate, including, apparently, Sunliner Diner in Orange Beach, who put their whole picklussy into this themed appetizer.

Whatever you do, do not play Strands today 🫣

uhhh it’s not like this usually

This whole aesthetic is so soft and pretty!

Pauly Walnuts very seriously telling someone that “it’s called Broad daylight because women light up the world”

international women’s day

Starting International Women’s Day with a 1:00 a.m. (false, thankfully) fire alarm in our condo building at the beach, which began about 15-minutes into my gummy-induced happy sleepies and kept clanging for a solid hour until the time sprang forward. 🥴

You too, doll 😊

A blonde woman in a black shirt and big sunglasses with frizzy hair taking a selfie in front of the ocean

Send help 😩

As the mom of a freshly 20 yo daughter, most of this still tracks 😂

Had to go to her house this week to collect one of my Gucci belts, my favorite patent leather Mary Janes and at least 5 pair of my leggings. Pink is “her” aesthetic and she’s SO irritated when I get a new fragrance that she likes.

Compare this to my pastor this morning explicitly saying "you think it's God's will that dozens of schoolgirls in Iran died from a bomb blast? Or that American students die from senseless gun violence? Really?"

Better than that. You look great. My Irish curls and I have been fighting for our lives at the beach this weekend. Typically my hair loves beach air but it’s been super foggy/misty every night and the salt won’t let a pattern reform once it’s been blown out by the wet wind.

Never doubted you!