i knew i hurt you guys, and i thought the last person you’d ever want to hear from was me
I am not excusing my actions, i never was, and i never will, i am taking the steps and removing myself from vr and lng entirely, its been a fun couple years, but its time for me to go
but i would never ever repeat those actions, ever.
i’m sorry i never reached out sooner, in my head those pitiful little apologies i sent back then were good enough, so i left things be, in my head if they wanted to talk they’ll reach out but it should’ve been me reaching out
the deleted tweet was because i worded it awfully, defense was the wrong word because i didn’t to defend my actions, but i wanted to defend the me of today, i was a monster, and i was a danger to the community, i was someone who dealt with a break up in an awful and disgusting way
what i actually wanted to do, in some sorta way i thought it would make up for what i did, but in reality i should’ve just came to you guys and apologized, and in some weird ego driven way, i wanted to show you guys that i could be good, that i wasn’t bad, that i could be a positive force
realizing you actually were was really tough for me. I was so sick and twisted in the head back then that i thought i was on the right, that what i thought was doing okay, but it wasn’t and never was, and never will be. I was not spinning a tale either as that was my goal in the end and
i cannot change how you see me, but it is not a lie that i went and got help, it is not a lie that i have been working on myself, and i will stand by that, because the stuff i had to confront about my self was one of the hardest things i had to do, seeing yourself as the monster and
it is not a lie that i went and sought help, and i will stand by that
that was my first time going to denver health, i needed a consultation,sept 11 was blood work,sept 13 was going in and speaking with a qualified therapist who Tessa connected me with
i should’ve blurred her name to keep anonymity in hindsight,id hate to post my medical papers but i will if necessary
all i ask is that you all understand i’m not that person anymore, and i haven’t been for a while
That month i did everything i was completely mentally unstable and looked at everything so selfishly, i needed to be the victim, i didn’t want to be the bad guy, but i made things worse in the end
But a person like me shouldn’t be doing that, with that i’m stepping down as coowner from LNG
and will be making my semi haitus a indefinite one
i’m so sorry for all the trouble i’ve cause, and im so sorry Josh,i love you so much, and i can only imagine the pain you’re going through,im sorry my love
with it in a more mature and healthier way, but i didn’t, and i have to live with that mistake so I’ve been trying to make up in a way by helping provide a safe space for ravers since I saw how my actions affected people and wanted to stop that cycle.
As stated above i had took this issue seriously back in August and made the steps to better myself as a person, Im so sorry i haven’t reached out since then and apologized properly, im so so sorry. I am no longer that person, and will forever regret and be disgusted by my actions. I wish i dealt
and i’m sorry Kuro, i’m so sorry i made you a victim in my messed up tirade, im so regretful of everything i did and i really didn’t mean to hurt anyone, but i’ve been able to look at my actions more clearly since then, and i hurt everyone, directly and indirectly involved, i hurt them bad
I could force you to love me, and to be with me. That if i did that you would be mine. But that’s not right, you can’t force love, and you can’t force sexual relations
I know that now and i’m so sorry and so disgusted to what i did to you
Stayawhile, Im so sorry I hurt you, and that i used you as an emotional crutch after my break up, in a way i believe i was trying to use you to replace my previous relationship, that you would love me in the way he did. So i forced my love in a disgusting and awful way. In my bad judgment i thought
advantage of that, and i swear i really do only remember him saying why he broke up with me was for that one reason, i did not intentionally hide information from you, i promise. I’m so sorry it seemed that way and im so sorry for making you take on that heavy emotional burden that i caused
Wumbo, i’m so sorry for dragging you into it, and using you as a crutch for my mental instability, in the end you just wanted to help and i just got defensive and reflected everything making it everyone’s problem, you were an amazing friend helping me watching shows to help distract me, and i took
amazing and making it into something so obscene and vulgar. I sought comfort in an extremely unhealthy way, and i’m so so sorry that i made you a victim in that
So i would like to fix that now, Im so very sorry for hurting you all, Leddy im so sorry for for ruining on of the best friendships i ever had, i still miss all the girly pop stuff we would do together and the games we played, and the gossip we would share, I completely ruined something that was so
I will admit though my apologies to Wumbo, Stay, and Leddy were awful and back handed and deflected all of the blame. I still wasn’t taking full responsibility
I still didn’t fully understand the damage i did and completely responded with no logic and emotion alone
i’ve reached out to everyone in the document and previously apologized, I didn’t expect them to accept it, but i finally understood what i did wrong. My apology to Kuro was my most clear minded, it was after everything went down and i had a couple of days to really reflect on my action
what i did was awful, and terrible. I am not that person anymore, and i took the steps to get professional help, and continued to get help. I made some terrible mistakes and forced things that i thought was okay, but it wasn’t. and it never will be. and i understand that
I know what i did was wrong, but I am no longer like that, all of this happened within a month, and shortly after i was confronted I sought help, i knew i was in the wrong, i booked an appointment first thing and the soonest i got in was August 8th, two days after i apologized to you.
I know i was wrong and I know i needed help
I did seek help immediately after i was confronted about it back in august
i am sorry kuro, and i always have been
and i’ve been sorry for what i did to you and the others, i went to the others individually previously and apologized, i’ve been trying to so hard to make up for it by working on myself because i know what i did was extremely wrong
but im not this monster, i was just hurt and dealt with it horribly
i’m sorry the previous post was worded badly, i’m not defending my actions, they were awful and inexcusable, i reached out and apologized to everyone mentioned in the document previously months ago and been trying to better myself since then
*went on hiatus that following month after that went down
i was completely and utterly mentally unstable and i see that now, im embarrassed and disgusted by myself and how i acted, but im not on the level of six or pedophiles. I was broken up with and fucked my friends
