Duncan Casey

a man in a suit is holding three boxes of pizza . Alt: A man in a suit returns to his apartment holding three boxes of pizza to find the floor on fire and another man swinging a burning tablecloth.

I'll just flip open the news to see what the world's up to, as a distraction...

Day 4 of the dreaded lurgy, offering the shakes, a consumptive rattle, and an inability to walk up the stairs without stopping for a rest.

🎵 It's starting to feel a lot like COVID🎶

a group of people are sitting next to each other and one of them is saying well she turned me into a newt Alt: A shot from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, of a group of muddy peasants sitting next to each other. One of them is saying "well, she turned me into a newt! I got better."

It's black magic, and shouldn't be trusted.

We're still hiring software people, if you fancy a crack at making space lasers...

The words to the chorus aren't particularly subtle.

It was only within the last few years that someone patiently pointed out to me that "Like A Prayer" was a song about blow jobs. To be fair, I was about 7 when I first heard it.

I can hear the outraged Daily Mail headlines already 😁

Is that a euphemism?

"The Islamists oppose women getting an education," I mutter, as I aim my missile at the girls school

Well, this is *genius*.

Cc @brettlempereur.bsky.social

I can do you an Irish one, if it's any use?

www.mbryonics.com

A centaur! Kinda.

Ladies! Don’t want to be perved at by weirdos wearing Meta Nonce Goggles?

Simply wear one of my new range of stylish t-shirts emblazoned with a QR code that will send them to goatse.

This wheel is to the boy squirrel the way that the football is to Charlie Brown and it still makes me laugh every time he tries to use it only to be immediately spun.

Get him Adam Kay's book, Kay's Anatomy. It has jokes suitable for >8-year-olds, but takes it's subject matter pretty seriously.

Sir Ian McKellen performing a monologue from Shakespeare’s Sir Thomas More on the Stephen Colbert show. Never have I heard this monologue performed with such a keen sense of prescience. Nor have I ever been in this exact historical moment.TY Sir Ian, for reaching us once again.
#Pinks #ProudBlue

I guess you might make an isocyanate (-N=C=O) or something if you burnt it, but describing that as "cyanide oxide" is like saying you can get chlorine gas poisoning from table salt.

Ah! You've chosen the wrong side of the country. Galway is basking in beautiful sunshine, for a change.

However, it's a week early: if I could sit in a sunny beer garden *with the Six Nations on*, it'd be perfect.

Ian Austin, an Army veteran, was arrested for protesting ICE in Minneapolis. But he’s continued protesting. Senior reporter @julialurie.bsky.social spoke to him.

“When they say, ‘Why would you be out here?’ How the fuck could I not be out here?” he says. “My nation is under attack."

Every time I see him on TV, I find myself humming "Goebbels the Goblin" to the tune of "Frosty the Snowman".

Which ones make your mouth feel like Gandhi's sandals the morning after, though?

The crossover we didn't know we needed. Genius. This has "Glastonbury guest slot" written all over it.

Cc @jaunty.art

@pingosaurus.bsky.social, one for your to do list.

Hahahahaha

There's a "not sowing chaos" phase? I'm still waiting for that one.

Get a Eufy C20 Omni robot, and prepare to have your life changed. They're fantastic.

I found myself feeling all festive on my cycle home from work today, so naturally it immediately started hailing. Thanks, Galway.

Your annual festive reminder that Saint Nicholas bears an uncanny resemblance to Lieutenant Worf.