of the few sentences @duolingoverde.bsky.social taught me, one of them is “books are my friends” I feel extremely read
rude
but yeah I do need to know how to say that
Sunday night at The Function in sf, the audience really enjoyed helping me figure out which crimes I should do
#standupcomedy #darkhumor #knowyourrights
How many days do I need to have in my Duolingo streak before I can finally call myself a gamer? @duolingoverde.bsky.social
imagine if anyone suggested that men be arrested for something that happens to 1 in 5 of them, that their body just does on its own. No one would stand for it
today is a great day to remember that 1 in 5 women will experience miscarriage. 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. It is an extremely common experience, people have no control over it and is not the fault of the pregnant person
imagine if any suggested that men be arrested for something that happens to 1 in 5 of them, that their body just does on its own. No one would stand for it
today is a great day to remember that 1 in 5 women will experience miscarriage. 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. It is an extremely common experience, people have no control over it and is not the fault of the pregnant person
At the newsletter right now: Republicans just dropped their first open attack on women's right to travel. jessica.substack.com/p/montana-bi...
trying out some jokes about parenting a toddler at hysteria open mic 🌎 🌍 🌏
Amazing! Katie Porter for governor! I love her whiteboard, she is changing the world
Taking a break from the doom scrolling and making my calls today and you can too!
my favorite joke from my Dept. Of Humor open mic set on Friday. It got the biggest laughs because it was also a well-needed break after the beginning of my set was a long, aggressive political rant 😄
#standupcomedy #standup #humor #mixedracefamily #standupcomic #bayarea #sanfrancisco
Do not allow this to happen! It would be disastrous for everyone! The USPS unites us. A privatized postal service means no postal service for a lot of people
Another day, another nightmare attack that I can’t believe everyone is not talking about all the time
I can’t tell if I am helping tear down unrealistic beauty standards by pointing out that Elsa’s face can’t possibly just look like that or reinforcing sexism by hyperfocusing on how she looks
I have delivered the same rant over Frozen 2 enough times now that when the time comes for Elsa to wake in the night my daughter and nieces automatically say, “oh no you went to bed with your makeup on Elsa! Don’t do that or you’ll get pimples!”
I’m horrified and I also want to read a series of spy novels about this premise
☘️
You look like a middle aged couple accidentally wore similar color shirts and a downtown district community outreach staff is gently asking them are you sure you want to walk around the neighborhood at this hour?
You look like three San Francisco dads trying desperately to leave behind the all-white sneaker trend, otherwise wearing the exact same outfit they had on for the last five years
Macy’s window display in San Francisco union square feature 3 blandly-garbed mannequins with the photographer reflected in the glass.
“wardrobe refresh” window at Macy’s, you don’t look like a wardrobe refresh. You look like the Boy Scouts mated with a public school where you’re not allowed to wear jeans
3 things will survive a nuclear apocalypse: VD, cockroaches, and those half-cloth half-plastic books people keep giving my kid
thank god children’s books automatically renew because I just realized I missed all my #sfpl courtesy notices as my email is now flooded with substacks I doom-subscribed to
being a musician means that the one thing I’m sure of is that I’m not a Real Musician
last night at standup someone spent their set glancing again and again at my cleavage and saying “we need more boobs in the world” and then fell into silence for his remaining minutes onstage. I have always wanted to sabotage the competition using only my boobs
💩 😂 < 🔆😂 ??? 🙅♀️!
last night at standup someone didn’t tell any jokes at all but just spent his minutes talking about how I didn’t finish my fries
The fact that the USA has banned visas for trans people but welcomed rapist Andrew Tate shows how all this "defending women" stuff is total bullshit
better expressed in emojis
💩 😂 < 🔆 😂 ???
… 🫠
