Vernors Herzog

we’re getting new Kacey Musgraves and new Noah Kahan this spring. incredible times for the mentally unwell

unsalted pretzels are how they catch serial killers. sociopath behavior

So

AI is a scam to make people dumb so they can sell more smart to them

People tend to think of functional illiteracy as just being unable to read words aloud or such.

What it *really* means is such as not being able to perceive subtext, context, understand who the audience of something may be, etc.

Media illiteracy is fundamentally part of functional illiteracy.

pitching a Netflix reality dating show that’s set on an oil tanker called The Straights of Hormuz

The idea that America isn’t for everyone who wants to be an American is something that makes my blood boil. Posting a photo of yourself as a Congressman smiling next to these words is wicked. It’s antithetical to the concept of America.

ladies and gentleman, please give a warm Georgia welcome to Jenna Turnipseed

Jenna Turnipseed can’t possibly be a real person

this is how I access Bluesky

(no, I didn’t know that)

it is my birthright as an xennial to play Semisonic’s Closing Time at the conclusion of any and all events

wishing you all a happy International Women’s Day

a “king” who says you can “have it your way”? sounds a lot like the antichrist to me

it’s time to put satanic panic to good use and convince evangelicals that AI slop is actually demonic incantations

they have them at Horrocks in Lansing, don’t know about the other locations

Furiously DMing death threats at the Joint Chiefs for fucking up my parlay

idk who needs to hear this but there appear to be like 10 seasons of Grand Designs on Apple TV rn

I thought I’d never go back to church, but if God told Karen Whitsett to retire, it may be time for some reevaluation.

this is a great metaphor for the general state of things, where the company is willing to “support” victims while doing nothing about the actual person on their payroll causing the problem

having one of those weeks where you have to do dishes so that you have room to do dishes

Gen X/Millennials watching this administration try to derp its way into another wasteful and corrupt war in the Middle East

if we’re going to be governed by 12-year-olds, we should at least get free pizza in the cafeteria

“that’s not my European carry-all, baby”

Fred Durst, International Man of Mystery

someone on TikTok pointed out that if you made Austin Powers today with the same premise he would have been frozen in 1997 and now I need to go lie down

“hear me out” except we’re all saying the same thing

Dana Carvey as Garth from Waynes world saying "He Does this every Friday."

He does this every Friday.

this is so god damn funny