Hayley

An oil tanker approaches the strait of Hormuz, collects a gold star and passes through while safely invulnerable

I think I may have cracked it

If I wanted a high street with individually owned businesses with well crafted & hand painted fronts I'd probably start thinking about capitalism, landlordism, supermarkets & how the arts are valued in this country (lol at the AI) but what these people really want is a day out to the Beamish musem.

Currently pancakemaxxing.

every epstein commentary is these immensely rich/powerful/influential people raving about what a genius epstein was, and every one of his emails is just “helo, my name jomfrie”

Same rate but you have to give the medal to Trump.

They look like the prizes in a tombola, nestled next to a bottle of lavender Radox and 2 litres of cream soda.

Vegetables and a more frozen chips than you’ve ever seen in your life completely cover a beach after a container spill washes up there

A woman volunteers to clean up the spill but it really looks like she’s a tiny borrower cleaning up those chips. It took about five goes for me to work out she’s actually cleaning up massive chunks of foam.

Why does it look like a Borrower has volunteered to clean up all those chips washed up on the beach? www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Comics retailing legend Greg Ketter standing up to ICE in Minneapolis. Yes, that's tear gas. He's 70 years old.

Do you have a dance shop anywhere close? They would probably sell them.

Who's secretly filming fake TikToks inside Londoners' homes? We tracked down the viral video account invading people's houses to spread false claims about immigrants.

This is one of the strangest and most screwed-up stories I’ve worked on. www.londoncentric.media/p/tiktok-lon...

I wear Putain des Palaces a lot and I love it but I am far too uptight to handle someone asking me what I'm wearing.

It looks like they’re using the room dividers they wheel out when they’ve got two weddings on the same day. There’s a buffet station on the other side of the makeshift situation room.

I helped some visitors to London navigate the London Underground gates, where they were trying to use their paper ticket on the card reader.

Tiny Tim, who did NOT hit her. He did not. Oh hi, ghost

I’ve changed my mind, the peace prize was a great idea if it means this happens.

I don’t mind if you want to have a little debate about Die Hard and Christmas, go right ahead.

Schrodinger's refugees: simultaneously hordes of 'men of fighting age', and also families with children.

you will not be disappointed

It’s so fascinating watching certain people performatively pretend that this is good. Maybe AI will get better than weird shapeshifting Friends at some point, but these people are pretending to enjoy this now and acting like we’re the odd ones for noticing that it sucks.

ATTENTION PARENTS: is your child texting about stealing from the Louvre? know the signs:

RTFM: robbing the famous museum
LMAO: looting my ass off
LSTCDTS: let's see Tom Cruise do this shit
MLM: Mona Lisa's mine

Jenrick casting 1980s British football hooliganism as something that was easily dealt with by police and not an era defining issue which we're still living with the consequences of today... He's genuinely the most unserious person in British politics rn

Frightened and desperate: EHRC anti-trans campaign loses its momentum A week of absolute scenes leaves the organisation in limbo.

EHRC anti-trans campaign loses its momentum - a week of absolute scenes has left the organisation in limbo. Here's what happened, why it happened, and what it all means iandunt.substack.com/p/frightened...

The Chinese spying scandal has raised some crucial questions, such as, “Can you explain it for a fifth time, please, but more slowly, because I still don’t really get what’s happened?”

Just to say that teachers do an incredibly difficult job, with all the right intentions, and can be the defining influence on a young person's life. They are the exact opposite of poisoners because good teaching provides the antidote to so many dangers

Please join me in congratulating Woman on her appointment

I do rinse my plates but Fairy did used to say in their adverts that you could leave the suds on so it’s no wonder Americans think we are all eating soap.

Large parts of the English press and radicalised X users are increasingly out of touch with public opinion.

I dunno, looks like you might need some cucumber and salmon too.