Boats

🎶xanadu🎶
🎶couldn't escape if i wanted to🎶

Son, when I was your age, apples were as big as watermelons, they were green on the outside, and when you cut ‘em open, they were red and juicy inside and tasted like watermelon

A bright red cardinal sits on top of the Sideview mirror of a car

The Cardinal jumps down to look at himself in the mirror

The cardinal begins furiously attacking his reflection in the mirror

“Look at that bird”

A Play In Three Acts

Yes, hello, is that God? Yeah, hi. I have a complaint. You gave me this brain that’s designed for finding berries and avoiding lions and now people are ‘just circling back’ to see if we can ‘move the needle’ on ‘key initiatives’? NONE of those things are berries.

Massive congratulations to @adblockcardiff.bsky.social for blocking another digital billboard & keeping more space in Cardiff for people not corporations 🙌🥳😍

instead of "better or worse" you get asked how many lights there are

2,000-year-old Phoenician coin was used as bus fare in England, but 'how it got there will always be a mystery' The ancient coin was probably minted in what is now Spain in the first century B.C., but no one knows why it was used to pay a 1950s transport fare.

A Leeds man has donated an ancient coin given to him by his grandfather -- who found it in a pile of bus fare in the 1950s. 🧪🏺

i don't give a rip who the CEO is i will use this website until the day it shows me one single advertisement and then none of you will ever see me again

Could an empire in decline do THIS? *launches deeply unpopular invasion cementing status as lunatic-led pariah state, its not clear what kind of move i was trying to do*

this has sent me down a ridiculous mental path. thermals would be a much more effective - yknow what never mind i'm not helping

love that idea

oh then can i upgrade that to an official dang? because dang 🔥

hot people in vests forever 🙌

omg INCREDIBLE party premise, you SHOULD let people know gifts are an option, you might get a fancy butter dish out of it

and a mother's day for not-mothers imo!

not to be mercenary, but as someone who's never getting a wedding i very much do want a Give Us Expensive Presents Day.

renew your vows

"Have you checked the archive?"

- Noah looking for the bees

dril is a franchise. different person on every platform. i'm responsible for carving his posts into the table of a dog friendly pub

i know i don't need all this stuff. i know I've overcomplicated this being alive thing. but i don't know how to decomplicate it. i know i only need to be warm and safe and loved, and not 23 different lip balms

me too, I've heard good things

a neat rectangle of blue half treble crochet with slightly wobbly edges. photo taken on legs wearing blue fishnets and green tights in orange light

@fionchadd.bsky.social i'm still doing the edges wrong BUT look how pretty! ahh i like half treble

now that's a legacy, i need to make more things!

that's so cool! i know they've been around for a bit, hope she got all the money

i can only assume the sentence at the bottom finishes "catch numerous expensive diseases and wee in your shoe"

they're so intentionally awful in a really interesting way, i think it's a reaction to the charmless sanded-down round ones like Smeagol here. mind you, we 80s kids had boglins

Smeagol / Gollum plushie: a cute round soft toy with straggly hair and a brown loincloth. he is smiling

A Patrick from Spongebob fuggler. An orangey pink shape in bermuda shorts. his eyes look inflamed and he has humanoid teeth. No resemblance to the starfish he claims to be

Somebody from gen Z / alpha explain "cute" to me please

a four-panel stick-figure cartoon panel one: three standing figures. from left to right, a guy wearing a necktie looking at his phone, an angry MAGA guy yelling FUCK YOUR FUCKIN POST FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU, and a rando just standing there like an NPC. panel two: the guy looking at his phone shows MAGA guy his hand, causing MAGA to vanish. the word Block hangs in the air where fuckface once was. a green-bordered in-game message appears, reading "+2 Mental Health." now the rando is suddenly interested. panel three: as our man continues doom-scrolling, a sly grin on his face, the rando on the right puts on a punch-me face and snarls: "Typical lefty, blocking everyone who disagrees with-" panel four phone guy shows the hand to punch-me face, causing the rando to vanish. the word Block hangs in the air where that dickhead was. a green-bordered in-game message appears again, reading "+2 Mental Health."

this fact expires in a year and a half so repeat it while you can 👍

(Beartato and Reginald, in a museum, gaze upon the Mona Lisa) BEARTATO: There it is. The Mona Lisa. The most famous painting in history. REGINALD: Wow! What's it do? BEARTATO: It... what? REGINALD: Why's it famous? What's it do? (Beartato thinks.) BEARTATO: I don't know. REGINALD (to nearly museum employee): Excuse me! Sir? What's it do? EMPLOYEE: You're the first person to ask! Watch this! (The employee yanks a pull-string. Mona Lisa's eyes spin around and her mouth opens like a puppet) MONA LISA: Honk honk! Honk honk! (Everyone is delighted. This is true art.)

True Art