faith

i’m getting to a point where pain play is… neutral to me

schizoposting came more naturally too

it’s like i’m too mentally sound

i mean i still overthink and get anxiety but it doesn’t have that… other factor

i do kinda miss when i was more mentally unwell and the feeling of an incomprehensible deity blinding me with their light felt more tangible

now it’s just a distant memory

show me the shape of your soul and i’ll show you how mine reforms

i need more art where it’s angels stretching with their wings and the artist can capture how much a wing is just parallel to an arm

“How did you know it wasn’t me?”

“Oh, don’t worry about it.”

bam bam bam bam

i have no idea how fishing people dress

tgirl with fish motifs, fishhook earrings, scale pattern lining the side of her pants, fishermen’s jacket, piece of straw in mouth

exhausted…

oh i’m ovulating…

i want to bottom so bad

i wanna be good at bottoming

i want to be able to take it

i overate and may ate a moldy mochi pastry snack

i feel sick and weak bweh

i really need to not tempt myself with coffee because the caffeine makes me sick

like really sick

my room is cleaned :> thanks to her help

i am a vessel for a soft, delicate heart

i do feel really awkward and uncomfortable when i’m emotionally honest and vulnerable

i end up unintentionally behaving in a way to try escaping the situation as fast as possible

i do want to be able to talk things through

“Guess I grew out of futility,

I’m entitled to my mediocrity.”

i feel i need permission to exist, to admit to my flaws, to live in accordance to them

like yes

i was emotionally neglected growing up

and that’s the way i feel the things i do

and that it’s okay to feel them and acknowledge them

the single life wasn’t meant for me

but also i think i need to stay single

nom nom

i’m so hungry it hurts wtf

sorry i get really giddy sometimes

i’m so sleepy…

oh gosh… the coincidences… ponytails…

eepy, tired

kinda want someone in bed

kinda don’t

there’s a social cost

and i’m a little broke rn

but some company would be nice

but i should pay social credits

hoping my body responds well

i’m so horny when stressed we should do it when i’m super stressed

my metabolism was high because i was constantly stressed which speeds up digestion?

do i like men with longer hair, shaved face, and a mildly androgynous look….

gulp