removed every message i ever sent to my most recent Ex except for one message, the first message I ever sent i edited basically just holding a mirror up to her and what she did to me.
it felt so cathartic.
With that being said some of the best advice I ever heard was
"Do you check on your trash when you throw it out? no? then why are you looking up your ex!"
I want to make a mega thread sometime of 'Art i made for awful people' my ex one who forced me to do things against my consent and another who gaslit me endlessly and contributed to my PTSD diagnosis, a girl who strung me along etc.
I made a lot of art for them, some im quite proud of.
An original pose with the attempt two pose I'm liking how part two is coming out far better
I just had to get this off my chest. I learned a lot from that relationship and I've met some incredible people and I'm even going on a date with someone I met through her but fuck me she hurt me in more ways than I can ever describe.
Not sure why I made this thread, i needed this off my chest. 6/6
Hanging with me and my friends in a group I got no 1 on 1 time with her. She also gave me 0 romantic attention unless it was on stream and she could farm clips.
She then spent the entirety of twitch con cheating on me and claiming we had broken up when we had very much not. 5/6
Was when she claimed i was 'clingy' and 'attention seeking' when I was just deeply lonely. She kicked me out of her place at more than once occasion so she could just stream. Ontop of this she very rarely actually gave me attention one on one, her routine was streaming for 12 hours then 4/6
She talked about arguments we had on stream infront of almost 100 people which while that isnt a huge number it still hurts my credibility especailly when I had no platform to defend myself or explain what happened from my perspective.
I think the biggest bullshit thing that happened 3/6
Thinking it was my own fault. Ontop of this nothing about our relationship was private and that really sucked! I hate having a hypervigilance about talking to people i'm into or friends because I'm scared that it will be shared around with friend groups or in a public forum. Like 2/6
Ramble post because this is my art and ramble account and I can do that.
I really regret entering my last relationship I cannot lie. Dating a ''popular'' streamer who's personality is being a slut was a really awful idea.
She cheated on me on multiple occasions and then gaslit me into 1/6
disgusting awful bad awful bad spit on it
i'm not finishing this piece cause it looks like crap! please enjoy what will never be finished
I've been spending a lot of time experimenting with 3D and 2D mixed together in blender
While it did not work for things like the Morgana piece im very proud of what I figured out for my recent PEAK fanart!
My art mindset is "you see what i want you to see" lol
#blender #blender3D
Scrapped design for a D&D stream this saturday.
I really FW the design though so i'm likely going to finish it
working on art for a D&D campaign and was told that this design was 'too human and not robot enough' so it was scrapped.
This is teh account where i post scrapped work so-
Ok thread over!
I think vent art is incredibly important and is an excellent way to get emotions out in a healthy constructive way and I think art therapy is absoloutely wonderful.
I'm doing just fine now a-days but i want this account to be giving context to my work and so here it is.
*mwah*
I’m not religious I don't often pray if ever.
But in December 2023 I was close to ending my life.
I walked for about an hour sat on a park bench at 3-5am(?), and prayed
“If I should stay, give me a sign.” A friend texted me saying they were worried because my messages sounded off.
A “friend” I’m no longer close with tried to support me during a really dark period in early 2024. I was recovering from addiction and self-harming a lot.
After one of my sadly very common breakdowns she texted me:
“I miss the old you. I miss when you were happy.”
Starting with this piece about a recent ex. If you know who I mean, keep it private.
She cheated on me twice that I can confirm, and I suspect more. She messed me up in ways I’m still unpacking, and for a long time I still loved her despite it.
I have thankfully moved on now. <3
In the spirit of vent art discussion from last night i'd like to share my three favourite pieces of vent art and the reasons behind them!
These are all my favourites because they are the few times that exactly how i imagined it is how it came out.
I plan to make a thread of vent artworks sometime down the line its just a matter of courage.
A lot of it contains depictions of self harm scars or suicidal ideation.
I worry sharing that art without proper warning may upset someone or worse make someone scared for my safety.
Im thinking about vent art a lot right now, probably because its time to sleep and my meds make me introspective at night.
The idea of vent art as a concept however appeals and interests me greatly, i love art that makes me feel anything and by contrast i like art that releases my feelings.
I was talking to friends last night about art while I was drawing, and I said anyone can do what I do when a friend complimented my anatomy.
I still stand by it.
Everyone should try drawing.
It’s cheap, fun, and not as hard as you think.
There’s a great artist in everyone.
Some of the art is nsfw.
At some point I also plan to share art made for my ex's as a sort of memorial thing to those relationships.
All of them turned out to be pretty awful people and two of them cheated on me!
It will be under if 'yk yk' type deal showing the characters but i feel like getting it out there is good.
A thread i will probably keep updating of artwork that I simply did not want to post/finish for one reason or another.
please look at my museum of failure, most was abandoned because of lack of interest or more commonly - I hated looking at it.
I'm someone who takes pride in my ability to finishh projects.
that being said i have 98 unfinished art pieces im going to start sharing some of them soon explaining why they were scrapped.
before i do all my art study i try my best to warm up with a loose doodle
I rarely think about these doodles because they're just doodles not meant to be good
that being said i am a big fan of this cowboy snake
No.
you just did but you can ask another thing.
I think the only 'nsfw' work I draw outside of commissions at this point is nude models and still life but that's for my art class and I don't consider it NSFW, I'm just drawing the human form for study.
