Joe Keenan

The world may be going to hell but I’m glad that my garden and its current residents seem not to know this.

The non-monetary advantages of working on Desperate Housewives were few, but the week I wrote guest roles for Lynn and Paxton Whitehead then hung out on set with them made that whole season seem worthwhile.

It’s only fair that Trump should be allowed to choose Iran’s next leader. Russia got to pick ours.

The NYT story announcing that Kristi Noem‘s new position would be as “Special Envoy for the shield of the Americas.“

“Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas” sounds like a job where the uniform’s made out of cardboard and Reynolds Wrap.

"Sur Les Quais" from Lolita (sung by Dorothy Loudon) starts:

Wine français straight from Burgundy,
Onion soup du jour; and voila, chéri,
We're monsieur, madame,
Sur les quais de Ramsdale Vermont.

Never had one, but from what I hear they were digital music’s answer to the floppy disk.

What? You mean there are people who don’t have Baker Street on their phone?

Exactly. Though Bob Merrill apparently heard it, said “Hold my beer,” and wrote Prettybelle.

I know the title track from Jerry Herman's Parade where Charles Nelson Reilly sings it with Dody Goodman. I doubt it was ever too funny, but wowza, has it aged badly.

I don’t make a habit of coining wryly appropriate group nouns, but I still smile when I think of the line in my third book when my narrator mentions “a haggle of agents.”

Bibi Osterwald – Solomon, 1964 YouTube video by BlondieJohnson

The first version I heard was Bibi Osterwald's on Ben Bagley's first Cole Porter Revisited. I was in my 20s and remembered Ms. Osterwald fondly form Bridget Loves Bernie, so I found it more sassy and fun than shocking.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Akx...

If night clubs (where one could definitely eat dinner) count, two Porter songs spring to mind:

"Solomon" ("Suppin' them at Ciro's")
and
"They Couldn't Compare To You" ("After that I staged an orgy/For some friends of Lucretia Borgie,/And ended up at the stork with Fanny Ward")

Neve Campbell and Ghostface in Scream 7

Neve Campbell may not be our most versatile actress, but she's always managed to eek out a living.

When Peter Stone taught the 2nd cycle of NYU's musical theatre program he told us that when the show was in New Haven everyone felt the second half needed another song, but they were stuck for an idea. A glance at the show's poster inspired Sherman Edwards to write "The Egg."

Windy, you say?

Thanks for the kind words.

Part of me was appalled to see the character in the hands of people with no apparent idea what made the first series work or how to construct a funny yet credible plot. Another part of me smirked knowingly at each misstep and thought, "Not so easy, is it?"

Thank you. I thought the same thing. “Why is this a secret? What consequence does Freddy fear?” (And don’t get me started on Frasier buying the building and moving in to the apartment next-door. Or the show’s version of Harvard. Or the Christmas episode.)

Ever seen a hummingbird nest? Neither had I before spotting this one in the potted tree outside our bedroom. Here’s hoping the DHS doesn’t bust me for running a sanctuary ficus.

Has anyone yet quoted:

"My best ring, alas,
Is a glass Solitaire.
I've Still Got My Health, so what do I care?"
(Cole Porter, Panama Hattie)

Right-wing Christians have done some pretty heinous things to turn gay people straight, but this goes too far.

Bondi: "Yeesh! The last Attorney General NEVER got asked about Nosferatu's victims, but since President Dracula took office it's all you people want to talk about!"

☺️

I saw it just once and was left so cold I haven't watched it since. Both characters seem to know they're in a comedy. The behavior never feels observed, just devised.

“Red, Hot and Blue” by Porter.

“Each time I hear a strain of Stravinsky’s,
I hurry to Minsky’s
And try to forget.”

Someone will reply to this with a Trump No. 2 joke but it won’t be me. I got standards.

You’re forgetting hilarity.

Two years may seem like a long closure for the Kennedy Center, but it’s gonna take time to replace all the union musicians with confederate ones.

Catherine O’Hara had a gift for playing dim, vain, hysterical divas in way that both exposed and forgave their worst excesses. Her eyes! They were always wide with either fear or menace, both equally funny. I worked with her only once when she played a guest role in a pilot. Once was not enough.

Just when I thought the day's surprises would all be unhappy ones, I found this Easter egg that I hid a little too deviously last April. It wasn't white when I taped it there, but we've had some rain. Sometimes we need a little Easter, so I'm sharing it.

Makes sense. They’re equally bored of peace.