A rumpled raccoon smiles and waves at the camera.
when you’re trying to sneak out and grab the amazon package first thing in the morning but your neighbor spots you
14.03.2026 13:09
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A rumpled raccoon smiles and waves at the camera.
when you’re trying to sneak out and grab the amazon package first thing in the morning but your neighbor spots you
Instead of fighting with my wife about seeing a performance at the Theater of the Absurd, I'll just Godot with the flow.
Dear Instacart, Yes, I ordered ice cream and wine one time. That was a mood, not a pattern. Don’t label me like that.
Reading headlines now is like reading the police blotter in the before times.
Except the press pretends that it's all normal and legal.
Guest Essay
By Frank Luntz
autoerotic defenestration
Discerning #Dateline viewer👇
the existence of Ryan Gosling implies the existence of Ryan Goose and Ryan Gander
Customer buying pineapple talks to cashier and holds up the line.
Customer At Front Of Line Certain Pineapples Are On Sale
gravy is the guacamole of the biscuit
Buoys don't cry
I'd be lucky if I was able to rock someone like a mild tropical depression.
I quit doing rap battles after I rhymed “spam” with “alakazam.” I knew I couldn’t top that.
live laugh lose your shirt
Forget coffee! Start your day with Cat Butt
Now I am become Death, destroyer of worlds, and this is my wife, Patti.
Falafel? more like falawsome
Partial section of the face of a full-size chocolate cat being held over the face of an actual cat.
Phantom of the Opurra
I want a vehicle that runs on almond milk cuz it's cheaper than gasoline.
Edna O’Brien to Alan Rickman, 2000, on Harold Pinter - ‘The trouble with Harold is he’s sewn up all his wounds, now all he can write are these little things.’
Don't ever let anybody tell you you're stupid for mourning the death of an artist you didn't personally know. Sometimes artists really, really mean something to you. And it's deep and personal, and you DO feel like they're a part of you, and that's OK. That's what great art, the best art, does.❤️
“It was the first time in almost four years that the global oil benchmark, known as Brent, cost more than $100 a barrel. Oil is now around 50 percent more expensive than it was before the United States and Israel began attacking Iran on Feb. 28.”
www.nytimes.com/2026/03/08/b...
We're in uncharted territory- if WTI crude holds these gains tomorrow- the current rise of 29.9% or $27.16/bbl would be its largest single day price jump- in both percent and amount- ever. Ever. EVER.
I dunno, living behind a brick wall in somebody's basement sounds kind of relaxing.
the opposite of go-gurt is inert-gurt
Chart showing price increases
Wow—Brent and WTI futures have risen four dollars since I posted the above ten minutes ago:
Chart showing price increases
Both Brent and WTI crude oil futures are above $110/barrel now.
Gasoline futures are at $3.10/gallon.
👀
Oh my God, people, I can't believe I have to say this:
THE TIME CHANGE DOESN'T MAKE IT LIGHT FOR AN EXTRA HOUR. IT'S STILL THE SAME NUMBER OF HOURS AND MINUTES OF LIGHT, REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE CLOCK SAYS.