ceci robin

i got .0017 and i'm colorblind

when it happens it's not even gonna be a leftist radical, is it? it's gonna be a guy who runs a startup bank

guy circling around the grocery store parking lot at 10PM in a fancy convertible blasting an Iranian monarchist podcast (in English) extremely loud

my favorite part was that it was trained with sex roleplay (because that's a big part of the corpus of text-based roleplay) and then he got surprised when it replicated that

i loved AI dungeon 2 when it was new (6 years ago lol), and then when the big commercial developments of GPT models ended up being applying the exact same format to a tool meant to be factual and helpful i was horrified

yeah that's fair

i think this is true in some cases, probably many, but "audiences are" is such an impressive generalisation

i've seen this happen a few times on here

it's kind of concerning how central the cliches are to many people's understanding of the topic! i had to avoid talking about ai with other people on the left for years because if i tried to talk about it accurately that was automatically taken as "pro-ai"

i've seen "guy"s say shit like "grungler is a really important part of my identity"

wait can i ask what part of kentucky

yeah i was gonna say "whoa same what are the chances" but im pretty sure the chances of early modern english people claiming distant and dubious royal ancestry were high actually

idk i'm really not sure if i'm just being paranoid. at this point i'm regretting having ever signed up and posted anything

every once in a while i think about how the ATproto firehose makes it quite likely (rather than merely a concerning possibility like with other social media) that in a few years there'll be a database where any personal information anyone shared on here is compiled and easily searchable

you're a creep who shouldn't feel comfortable talking to people in public like this

Do you ever get hit with the feeling you might be fake as fuck? I try and cultivate the expectation that I'm not anything more but then people still think I'm a person, it's weird. I'm just a virus on your computer tbh.

here's element's post from the time about how they sell encrypted messaging services to cops, which was widely misreported as them selling encrypted messaging data to cops mastodon.matrix.org/@element/110... i don't love this either but it's not whats often claimed

and the "obviously unreal" beliefs aren't quite that, either; the other characteristic trait of StPD is "double bookkeeping" where (speaking for myself) i can keep track of which thoughts of mine aren't acceptable for consensus reality and act accordingly without exactly disbelieving them in private

this is exactly what it's like yeah. i get a lot of that and also always assume everyone remembers everything they've ever seen me do wrong and holds it against me. it is essentially a delusion but it's impossible to separate from reality so it sticks unlike the more obviously unreal ones

tbh i'm a little bit reflexively anti-psychiatry so maybe don't take advice from me about it but i don't see much point in the psychiatric approach to StPD. i think it is mostly about training us to pretend to be getting better

there isn't really a reliable treatment for StPD itself. antidepressants or mood stabilizers can help but do not really treat the condition itself. not getting worse is mainly about recognizing symptoms to live with them instead of letting them get out of hand

that does sound like it (i'm not a doctor though of couse). with the paranoia, is part of it a certainty that people secretly don't like you, even if they say they do, or that they watch, or talk about, or plan to betray you? that paranoid anxiety is especially characteristic of StPD, i get it a lot

have you talked to other schizotypal people much? sorry idk you i just got bored and searched it and saw this and relate a lot

the social paranoia is the one relevant delusion that doesn't go away when the psychosis passes. if i said i didn't earnestly believe that everyone who knows me does or should hate me, i'd be lying

#birdbot

my social skills and, more importantly, my desire for socialization, are just about back to when i was 15. idk what to do about that. i found it rewarding having friends i talked to, when i did, but thinking of trying to maintain so many connections at once again still feels terrifying

not true >:(

series of depressive and mixed episodes, technically. if i still feel good tomorrow that'll be the first time in about a year and a half that i'm euthymic for a week straight

i hate that i have to worry whether unfollowing a friend who posts stuff i don't want to see on my timeline will be seen as rude. i've seen people say "i just mute them" but that's worse in my view?

you know obviously destroying social media entirely would not fix all of the problems it's caused and it'd probably have some downsides too but at least it would mean "the like button wasn't pressed on this post so this relationship must have been abandoned" wasn't a thing