Goose

Also, reason 347 of why I might still be single.

Goose, with the floofiest bed head ever. I swear it looked reasonable yesterday.

For Caturday, Lulu suggested I spend at least 6 hours grooming. (Also 16 hours napping)

Birds of a feather ❤️

Lulu, black cat, cautiously staring into the cave of duvet. What treasures might it hold? What monsters?

Pro tip. Go to bed early to miss all the drama.

People always say "pick your poison". But I don't want poison - I want chocolate. What idiot chooses poison?

*Meow*

This is my caturday post

“safety in numbers” i whisper, while filling my purse with donuts

So many schmoops and boops!

Well done! A vision, as always! ❤️

I can never walk past a sugar maple without saying I’d tap that

Happy Birthday, Chicken!!! Schmoops! ❤️🥳

if you have a lifesize stuffed horse inside your shop
and a sign that says "do not touch the horse"
imma make it my life's work to steal that horse
i will plan it like a heist & i will ocean's eleven that badboy right out the door under my coat

You can be anything you want.
Be a set of glowing eyes in the darkness.
Be a terror in the deep.
Be a cosmic horror slumbering in a star, worshipped by millions from afar.

Your self awareness is inspiring

Yay! ❤️🍀

I strongly recommend not moving to central Florida. For reasons.

How I feel when someone blocks me.

Tbh, I’d be bi for you.

Don’t let today go by without saying I love you to your typo

Every time I see a blue Subaru, I sing a little “Blubaru” song à la Van Halen.

To whom shall I bequeath my drafts folder?

LEEROOYYYYYY JENKINNNNNNNNNNNNS

I had butter bean salad for lunch 😂

real quick…fuck this shit

Oh noes! I’ve been offline too much! 😭

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be supportive. Say stuff like, “Nice battling, dude.”