showed her pickle rick she was mortyfied
showed her pickle rick she was mortyfied
getting booed offstage at the Efficiency Conference because nobody likes my presentation on employee productivity that, ironically, contains only a single-slide that says "pay people more money"
Close-up photo of the legs and feet of JD Vance and Marco Rubio showing some comically oversized shoes
It gets better. Here's Vance and Rubio in the Oval Office...
Sunβs getting real low
thatβs my secret, Daylight Savings, iβm always tired
Remember to celebrate international women today, not the local ones.
Whenever I see TimotheΓ© I think divorceΓ© like that is someone who has been Timotheed
tariffs happening for no reason and theyre making your life worse, secret police kidnapping people for no reason and making your life worse, firing thousands of government employees for no reason and making your life worse, going to war with iran for no reason and making your life worse
The troubles
I'd be lucky if I was able to rock someone like a mild tropical depression.
instead of saying idk broaden your vocabulary, say do i look like a detective? do i look like i have a fuckin clue?
(At the doctor) *takes out tampon
"Weigh me now"
image of timon from the lion king. heβs smirking and gesturing with open palm, as if heβs explaining something condescendingly to the viewer
vagina dentataβ¦what a wonderful phraseβ¦
you draw up that ad for amtrak?
sure did boss, diarrhea money shot just like you asked
A poster for the Salvation Army shows a woman looking at the camera and the headline says "Your not just saving money, your saying lives"
Your doing grammar bad
thinking again about the greatest scene in cinema history
the first skunk born with the stinky mutation probably thought he was never gonna get laid
Pretty crazy how important the blockade of a trade route is right now
canβt come in today boss, everything is a little weird
cannot stress enough that "separate the art from the artist" was meant for private individuals reconciling the art they love with its flawed creators and not meant for the ceo of a company driving a dump truck of money up to a bigot's front porch
www.theverge.com/podcast/8914...
Have the kind of sex where you have to buy a new house.
starling (seth rogen): if you could take this survey that would be so awesome. i could get out of your hair before this guy's done jacking off.
hannibal lecter (danny mcbride): motherfucker that's miggs. me and him are boys, so you better watch yourself. i'm behind this glass cause i ate some dudes
Company Lacks Manpower To Complete Newest Round Of Layoffs
Company Lacks Manpower To Complete Newest Round Of Layoffs https://theonion.com/company-lacks-manpower-to-complete-newest-round-of-layo-1819574660/
NBC News poll Voters hold negative views of Al. In fact, the only topics less popular in the survey were the Democratic Party and Iran.
Truly a perfect news alert
Once again, everyone. Every skeet is a post, but not every post is a skeet.
"don't let 'skeets' stick" is an all-timer double entendre, will never not be in awe of it
Jay: Guys, please don't let "skeets" stick The experiment in decentralized naming decisions has resulted in the worst possible term How about skoots? Can we bring back skoots? Bluesky OGs, help me out here, remember skoots? 10:45 PM Β· Apr 27, 2023
Say what you will about Jay, but she is solely responsible for Bluesky posts being called skeets.