Alternate Squatch

I wish I could say the same! Been crazy horned up for a couple weeks now.

👋👋👋🍑🍆🔜

Especially when he’s got a good model!

Holy shit. It feels like I should have to pay somebody for getting to watch that.

Please form an orderly line round back

Excellent. Happy horny new year!

Which end do you want?

Okay but I feel like you should hide them in various places and make me root around for ‘em

I keep thinking that an alt account isn’t an accurate version of reality and I’m just *imagining* that everybody else is getting a billion times more dick than me…

But then I remember when I first started dating my ex and we were going at it non stop

I want that for you

One billion percent don’t wear the shirt

Still one of the most handsome men on the internet

That’s Sasquatch with a qu

I think you need to get data by testing it with as many locals as possible.

Now it has

I volunteer if you ever have guests on!

Yeah it’s not being an attention whore when you’re packing that. It’d be wrong *not* to show it to everyone.

Now I’m regretting I didn’t see you in person!

They had a clothes check there; you should’ve checked your briefs!

Mercy. 🥵

Cubs telling me they’ll help me meet my needs helps me meet my needs!

Thanks! I’m starting to think Bluesky doesn’t even appreciate how much I want attention.

That’s exactly what they seemed to be having trouble with. One of them said he could “turn my head around like in the Exorcist” and I just felt sorry for them. I hope they figure it out eventually.

Happy to help! I have an assortment of warm dark places.

You need somebody like me there to make sure it doesn’t spend too much time exposed to the sun.

Sigh… I am a fan.

Somehow just the hint of mutton chops is the sexiest thing I’ve seen today

Thanks! It needs a trim but I think I’m going to give it a few more weeks.

Dang! There’s a lucky bottom.

I mean as long as you’re offering