Attaboy.
11.03.2026 02:54
👍 2
🔁 0
💬 0
📌 0
Attaboy.
Now this is a delicate situation, Jake.
…Wait, no it isn’t. This is social media—who gives a shit?
Toxic masculinity implies the existence of Oops!... I Did It Again masculinity.
Which is also the title of my autobiography.
I just paid my taxes. Chicago, the potholes should be fixed any day now.
Looks good on you, and I also hate you for it.
Where’s the star of the show — the new garage door?
How could you ever replace 🕳️?
With friends like these, who needs enemas?
When you forgot you made plans, but your friends won’t let you cancel.
We both know that your bussy gets wet with a strong breeze!
An-225 😉
A man after my own heart.
No roots yet. I've been using this purple shampoo that makes it look like Barney jizzed in my hair, but it seems to help.
Not to alarm anyone, but is anyone else concerned about how fucking stupid everyone seems lately?
It’s giving coquettish ingenue.
We really, really, really need to get you some hobbies.
How I feel after losing an hour of sleep.
We change our clocks tonight. I’m setting mine to the ’90s
The best grandma to ever exist.
95 and still a stunner.
Do you instinctively pose like this in front of every mirror? Because I’m starting to notice a pattern. 😁
(remembering Real Sex)
These days you just can’t win for losing, my friend.
He must follow your account. 😉
“Shhh, everyone! Meghan McCain is talking!” — said no one, ever.
This is the only God that I pray to.
Mariah and Whitney’s duet on the soundtrack alone is worth the price of admission.
My knees hurt from carrying around this incredible taste in music.
And this hog.
The horrors remain, but so do we.
Nothing has FireWire anymore so it's frozen in time and I can't change anything on it, but the satisfying clicks of that scroll wheel are still pure ASMR joy.
