Tim Lazer Horse Newman

I became Senior VP at a multi-million dollar company at age 26. My salary was $600k. This was in 2018. How did I do it? Blacked out lines CEO (my dad) promoted me to SVP. There are no gimmicks. There are no shortcuts.

This is blackout poetry to me

An illustration of a women with a scab on her lower lip and an ulcerated forehead

An old fashioned book spine which reads atlas of venereal diseases

It’s Valentine’s Day - so here’s an illustration from McLaren’s Atlas of Venereal Disease from 1889

A painting of a bird beside the text "why the fuck do I bother?"

one of my strongest beliefs is that we're in our situation right now bc some of the most prominent talking heads (e.g. joe rogan, andrew schulz) are learning about politics in their 40s and 50s, instead of their teens and early 20s, and we have to go along for the ride as they learn basic things

every seat in a movie theater should have an "I have to pee" button and if enough people press it they should be able to pause the movie

NEW ALBUM’S COMING ALONG. I AM PLEASED. AND SWEATY. BUT ALSO A BIT CHRISTMASSY.

Bronze plaque saying "A Letter to the Future. Ok is the first Icelandic glacier to lose its status as a glacier. In the next 200 years all our glaciers are expected to follow the same path. This monument is to acknowledge that we know what is happening and what needs to be done. Only you know if we did it. August 2019. 415ppm CO2"

TIL about a memorial ceremony in Iceland in 2019 to mark the end of a glacier, changing the place name from Okjökull to Ok (jökull = glacier). Uncompromising wording on the bronze plaque:
"This is to acknowledge that we know what is happening and what needs to be done. Only you know if we did it".

bubs, i’ve only got two, maybe three Motown puns left in me. Four tops.

you know how i know im a 44yo dad? how much i laughed at this shit

Record-breaking 75-year-old mother #bird prepares to nest.
Wisdom has been laying #eggs since the Eisenhower Administration. #Albatross #WorldsOldestBreedingBird #Bird

Link for more info, #photos & video: www.popsci.com/environment/...

My hand holding a shortbread cookie in the shape of an airplane. There are red sprinkles in the pattern of the survivorship bias plane.

A plate of the same cookies.

Does anyone want a survivorship bias shortbread

#BlackFriday fucking sucks, it's nothing but an excercise in crass commercialist excess... but if you DO want to spend some money this weekend then why not support some underground bands (it doesn't have to be us) who could actually use the help?
beyondgrace.bandcamp.com/merch

Two hundred.

OMG! I just got off the plane in Asheville and RFK Jr. Was boarding and someone passed by him and said “quack”

Happy Partially Muscled Skeleton Day to all who celebrate. Be sure to let all your screams out and then disappear.

Omg yes……. :(

Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time

Flying Squirrel Loves It Every Time

It’s only a matter of time before the truth is revealed that the moon is the headquarters of Big Parma. 🧀

Stunning banner cloud over the Rock of Gibraltar.

Credit: Met Office Gibraltar

😆

New! The Flame Keepers by Mandi Caskey at 37 Fall St. in Seneca Falls, New York.

Hey UK friends

Is there anyone that can help us increase the resolution of a shirt design for us?

It's looking a bit fuzzy when zoomed in

Happy to provide a free shirt in terms of payment

I’m so proud of you right now.

+100000000000

A two panel meme. The first panel is labeled MUSICIANS and has a picture of a small dog playing an electric guitar with a bunch of pedals and an amp and a table with a computer running a DAW. Text below reads "what if nobody wants to listen to it??" The second panel is labeled PODCASTERS and has a picture of 3 bigger dogs at a table with microphones and reads "yeah so im at the supermarket the other day and the cashier is really taking her time." "oh shit" "i hate that bro" "yeah and i mean i've got ice cream RIGHT on the conveyer belt and she KNOWS IT.' "oh shit" "i hate that bro"

the penn state nittany lion in probably like 1895 or some old year like that

Jesus Christ :((((((((((

Noah catalogued every living animal in pairs and was hyperfocused on boats.

Don’t tell me autism started with Tylenol.

Thanks :)