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BODY MASSAGE MACHINE

@slumlordthanatos

An endless stream of nerd shit, useless information, and classic memes. Who wants a body massage?

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06.12.2024
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Latest posts by BODY MASSAGE MACHINE @slumlordthanatos

Holy fuck, I just won an ARAM match and I never died.

I went 0/0/56 as Janna.

I participated in all but two of my team's takedowns.

I need a medal.

14.03.2026 02:35 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

sorry basically the problem of my life is that i internalized and believed a lot of stuff people said about valuing children and loving your neighbor and living in a society at the exact moment that everyone in power decided all of that shit was fake and gay and not a way to make a living

13.03.2026 19:18 πŸ‘ 2115 πŸ” 490 πŸ’¬ 3 πŸ“Œ 1
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12.03.2026 11:26 πŸ‘ 5015 πŸ” 1436 πŸ’¬ 13 πŸ“Œ 21
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I bet this smug asshole would be the commander.

12.03.2026 17:40 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

It's like I'm the only person who actually cares to win ARAM matches.

12.03.2026 05:01 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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Well, shit. Basically all of the most recent activity on my profile is reposts.

So here is an excerpt from a Dark Heresy AAR with some life advice that I live by.

(Seriously, The All Guardsmen Party is hysterical. Go check it out!)

12.03.2026 01:13 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

"Obviously the GOP has run the numbers "

<flat stare>
<glaces towards the Persian Gulf>

12.03.2026 00:24 πŸ‘ 17 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 2 πŸ“Œ 0
Preview
The Hangman Explore bystander behavior and the challenges of speaking up with Maurice Ogden's poem β€œThe Hangman.”

www.facinghistory.org/resource-lib...

11.03.2026 20:39 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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The troubles

11.03.2026 08:16 πŸ‘ 3951 πŸ” 790 πŸ’¬ 33 πŸ“Œ 16
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The trailer for EVERYONE IS LYING TO YOU FOR MONEY. In select theaters starting April 17th πŸΏπŸ€‘πŸ€£

10.03.2026 20:02 πŸ‘ 5624 πŸ” 1650 πŸ’¬ 150 πŸ“Œ 305

The US used a Mets pitcher in the WBC and lost to Italy. That is Peak LOLMETS

11.03.2026 04:42 πŸ‘ 173 πŸ” 20 πŸ’¬ 7 πŸ“Œ 1

I'm gonna buy mine used, just so Nintendo doesn't get my money.

The trick is finding one.

10.03.2026 13:07 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I mean, when a gigantic chunk of our country doesn't recognize evil when it stares them in the face, it's hard to assume that most people are generally good.

09.03.2026 15:34 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
im pretty sure this is shadow the hedgehog but he is posted with a gun in front of a city with text that says: SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY I SIMPLY DIDN’T REALIZE THAT IT WASN’T ALL YEAR

im pretty sure this is shadow the hedgehog but he is posted with a gun in front of a city with text that says: SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY I SIMPLY DIDN’T REALIZE THAT IT WASN’T ALL YEAR

09.03.2026 02:27 πŸ‘ 318 πŸ” 140 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 1

It's not for me, but I'm glad it exists.

09.03.2026 03:31 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

On one hand, I'm definitely a bit concerned.

On the other hand, their gross incompetence is probably going to make such an attack backfire.

08.03.2026 21:15 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

I always thought that he was "encouraged" to kill himself and was provided the means to do so.

The stuff coming out now? Nah, he was definitely murdered.

08.03.2026 20:45 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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08.03.2026 03:23 πŸ‘ 14311 πŸ” 4649 πŸ’¬ 105 πŸ“Œ 70

I live in an area that is popular for people to dump their pets. One day, my mom ran into a gorgeous Golden Retriever just...left on the side of the road.

We quickly found out why: he was incredibly gun-shy. Thunderstorms, fireworks, even distant gunfire was too much.

We named him Boomer.

08.03.2026 08:43 πŸ‘ 1 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

i don't care about any arguments against this. right now the sum total of my political advocacy is: crush the Republicans and make them pay. i don't care what comes after because until we do that nothing better is possible.

07.03.2026 18:26 πŸ‘ 6421 πŸ” 1251 πŸ’¬ 88 πŸ“Œ 39

There's blame to go around, but it's absurd to claim that Democrats and their leadership doesn't at least deserve a share of it.

They chose what they perceived as political expediency instead of simply doing the right thing, and it blew up in all of our faces.

They knew what needed to be done.

07.03.2026 23:57 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0

Knowing this state, Little Rock and NWA are going to be the most contestable seats. It's rough, I know, but any progress is notable. Fuck yeah!

07.03.2026 03:02 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

You're making the bold assumptions that establishment Democrats actually care, when they have demonstrated, time and time again, that they actually don't.

It's not enough to just kick out the GOP. We also need to kick out the career politicians who just stood by and allowed this to happen.

07.03.2026 00:33 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

Well, gas is expensive, and food is expensive, and we’re doing a war nobody wants, but at least there are no jobs

06.03.2026 19:47 πŸ‘ 30372 πŸ” 7531 πŸ’¬ 223 πŸ“Œ 238
06.03.2026 19:21 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

If I'm Graham Platner, and I discovered that a tattoo I had gotten to impress a bunch of mercenary buddies was Nazi shit, I'd have gotten it covered or lasered off *years* ago. And then I would own up to it when I'm asked about it.

He tried to play it off as no big deal.

Yeah, no. I don't buy it.

06.03.2026 15:22 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
A Reductress post features a photo of Kristi Noem with the headline, β€œKristi Noem Put Down for Being Too Hard to Train”

A Reductress post features a photo of Kristi Noem with the headline, β€œKristi Noem Put Down for Being Too Hard to Train”

Screaming

05.03.2026 22:00 πŸ‘ 16559 πŸ” 3356 πŸ’¬ 259 πŸ“Œ 175
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05.03.2026 22:24 πŸ‘ 2 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0
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A commander that lets me play extra lands? That's a Landfall deck if I've ever seen one.

And what Landfall deck is complete without BUG?

05.03.2026 21:32 πŸ‘ 4 πŸ” 1 πŸ’¬ 0 πŸ“Œ 0

...Go on.

05.03.2026 21:14 πŸ‘ 0 πŸ” 0 πŸ’¬ 1 πŸ“Œ 0