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Jordan Beaumont Anderson

@jbeaumontanderson

Author of Letterboxd's #1 Review of Porky's. Writer/Designer/Dilettante. Wasting his life on purpose. https://letterboxd.com/QuantumPotPie Please love me.

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18.11.2024
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Latest posts by Jordan Beaumont Anderson @jbeaumontanderson

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A ★★★ review of Pete Holmes: I Am Not for Everyone (2023) Pete, a decent set, but a close 2nd behind Chappelle in the Laughing at His Own Bits category ain't a good sign.

boxd.it/duvGrJ

12.03.2026 15:11 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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A ★★★ review of Solo Mio (2026) Oh no, how will our dude choose between the charming italian beauty who clearly digs him or the bland broad that won't call him back? What a pickle. Regardless, surprisingly functional - mostly throug...

boxd.it/dum7VB

12.03.2026 06:47 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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12.03.2026 06:45 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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A ½ review of Melania (2026) Multiple drone shots of Mar-a-Lago give a nice overview of sightlines and exposed rooftops, if anybody is interested.

boxd.it/duh1GZ

12.03.2026 03:30 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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10.03.2026 16:41 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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A ★★★ review of Videoheaven (2025) Autistically thorough, like a sci-fi epic written over decades by a janitor. Fascinating then diverting then comically long-winded.

boxd.it/dt1P2p

10.03.2026 09:09 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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A ★★½ review of Train Dreams (2025) It's easy to be romanced into thinking there is some glory inherent to nature. That the constant hard-scrabble life of survival has a moral majesty to it. That a beaver's dam shows the ingenuity of Go...

boxd.it/dsWF9v

10.03.2026 04:51 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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10.03.2026 04:48 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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A ★★½ review of The Cars That Ate Paris (1974) Spiky Car for Mayor! You gotta admire Australia's commitment to lax stunt safety. It almost makes you forget the hour of tepid yapping leading up to it.

boxd.it/dsdEMr

09.03.2026 05:19 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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09.03.2026 03:48 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

the few, the proud, the perverts

07.03.2026 14:34 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

Every cohabitating couple at some point has to decide if they're gonna have nudes on the walls or not.

07.03.2026 14:32 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0

i recommend 1-5

07.03.2026 13:51 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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golly gee the beginning of the year blows

07.03.2026 13:46 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0
Painting of a woman lying prone on a red futon on the floor of a green room. There is a cup of Turkish coffee upside down on its saucer beside her. There is a brass burner near her — I don't know if it's to keep coffee hot or to burn incense or maybe it's part of some kind of pipe I don't know.  There's a pile of old letters beside her on the futon. The woman has her chin resting on her hand. 
She seems lost in thought or reminisce.

Painting of a woman lying prone on a red futon on the floor of a green room. There is a cup of Turkish coffee upside down on its saucer beside her. There is a brass burner near her — I don't know if it's to keep coffee hot or to burn incense or maybe it's part of some kind of pipe I don't know. There's a pile of old letters beside her on the futon. The woman has her chin resting on her hand. She seems lost in thought or reminisce.

Old Messages — Walid Ebeid

06.03.2026 21:26 👍 332 🔁 37 💬 1 📌 1

chugga chugga and also choo choo

07.03.2026 13:30 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

No thanks, everybody! I've been no one! I'm not here ever again! Refuse to tip your waiters! Never try the veal!

07.03.2026 12:48 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Danger Beach - Apache
Danger Beach - Apache YouTube video by Dream Damage

youtu.be/s4uLauAPr6k

07.03.2026 11:40 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

You know you've watched too many movies when you're like "Why did the director of Smoking Hot Lesbian Threeway S2E2 decide to use all these pans when static shots would help ground it more?"

07.03.2026 11:26 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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A ★ review of The Bride! (2026) Here comes some abysmal bullshit. Of the hundreds of thousands of frames of Jessie Buckley I've seen, not a single one has left me with even a sliver of hope or enjoyment or realization. Her face may ...

boxd.it/dql6uB

07.03.2026 09:03 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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07.03.2026 09:02 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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A ★½ review of War Machine (2026) Eviscerated by its own twist. The expected effluent of an industry that can only iterate. These dudes aren't so tough. I've known exactly one army ranger in my life and he was an adorably stupid littl...

boxd.it/dqd9W3

07.03.2026 04:29 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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A ★★★ review of Die My Love (2025) Post-partum depression isn't some great mystery. It's just people coming to the realization that motherhood means being imprisoned in your own life with minimal compensation and massive responsibiliti...

boxd.it/dpzAaP

06.03.2026 09:23 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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06.03.2026 09:21 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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A ★ review of The Strangers: Chapter 3 (2026) What's the intended terror here? A dude doing the bag-head thing like a toddler playing with the groceries and two chicks cosplaying Bioshock with dollar tree Betty Boop masks? Oh no, I'm really quaki...

boxd.it/doNR57

05.03.2026 04:53 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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A ★½ review of Whistle (2025) ME: People are brutally killed by their future deaths? Haha, that's so stupid. [I turn around. A man with my exact height and build stands there, furiously masturbating.] ME: Awww man...

boxd.it/do9FKn

04.03.2026 05:45 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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04.03.2026 05:43 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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A ★★½ review of Wicked (2024) Surprisingly enjoyable if you imagine everyone is saying wicked like they're auditioning for Good Will Hunting.

boxd.it/dnOEwx

03.03.2026 20:57 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0

what? a fella can't get wicked stoned and listen to some harp?

02.03.2026 09:40 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
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still think in the year 2006 Joanna Newsom wrote the best thing ever done with the english language

02.03.2026 09:39 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0