Berry

I'd be there like a shot but I'm at a funeral tomorrow 😔

Them there Cardiacs at The Electric Brixton. Very good, much more proggy than I was expecting. But I'd like a tiny moan about some members of a 90% male audience, whose complete lack of awareness of their surroundings made it a very uncomfortable experience.

a cartoon beaver standing next to a lizard that says hoppers ALT: a cartoon beaver standing next to a lizard that says hoppers

Hoppers delighted my inner eight-year-old and my outer 58-year-old

The face of a cat who's calling her solicitor in the morning

My neighbour: My cat didn't come home at her usual time so I shook her Dreamies. Your cat came instead, so I gave her some.

My cat on LinkedIn: DOUBLE YOUR DREAMIES INCOME WITH THIS ONE SIMPLE TRICK

Crikey, that's spectacular!

Oh yeah, it's a proper insight into non-NHS charges

Andrew O’Hagan · Stay Classy: Mummy’s Favourite The late queen can be held responsible for much, but nobody could accuse her of seeming to enjoy her role. For the...

Nobody has ever been so lyrically yet thoroughly excoriated as in this piece. And yet, few people have ever deserved such a complete dismantling as the Prince formerly known as Andrew

www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v4...

*getting, not being, a nasty infection 🙄 Opinions may vary...

FYI it's available on the NHS from the age of 65 but you can get it from Boots or Superdrug from the age of 50

*when my current cash-flow crisis is averted

Genuinely considering paying for the shingles vaccine*. 17% lower risk of dementia, 25% lower risk of heart attack or stroke, 27% reduced risk of blood clots, 26% lower risk for heart failure, lower all-cause mortality AND you avoid being a nasty infection? Count me in!

That'll be yet another half hour wait, then 🙄

Narrowly missed a train home
Waited half an hour for the next one. The departure time was advancing a minute per minute. Glanced over and saw a train on a platform change its destination to mine. Still nothing on the departure board. Made my way to the platform just in case only to see it head off.

Or... second breakfast opportunity👍🏻

A Sunday morning well spent, I feel

The problem with dropping a small but essential Lego piece on a hard, wooden floor is that it could be in the next county before it loses momentum

Woke up so early, I'm ready to go back to bed now 🥱

My mum told me to put a few things away in my bottom drawer for the future.

My bottom drawer:

Crikey Colin, what a series of events to survive. Glad you made it through and thanks for sharing x

Yes, a side quest, that's exactly what I need!

Made a helpful flowchart to plan my weekend

This is my get shit done weekend. It's my only chance to get shit I really need to get done, done. Don't wanna.

"For just $500, upgrade your Ray-Ban Meta glasses to heads- up display"

It's a sticker of Mount Fuji

Useful if you're looking at Mount Fuji and don't know you're looking at Mount Fuji, I guess

Think he's just come to that inevitable hairline decision early

Thank you for your service 🫡

Just saw an advert for glasses with an integrated hearing aid. Subtitles to life can't be far off 🤞🏻

Cat tax