Fio

Cheese that turns you to stone, call that shit gorgon-zola

Aborted tumblr post voice: I would’ve loved to flop…. If I existed…

aborted post: ....i would've loved to flop

Chris McClaine voice: Total Forcefem Island!!!

Why did I transition? Well here in America they make white boys play that funky music til they die

So fucked up being older today. I've had a whole year to get used to my age and now I have to remember a different number. Fucked up...

I think as a society we are only a few years out from actually putting someone into The Truman Show

I pray that our children's hands will know thumb peace, not war

My new bug spray called On! That actually attracts more bugs to you

Comic book character who is deaf but also has fourth wall breaking powers so they can just read the speech bubbles

Nopony wants to work anymore

Whoever came up with the idea for dragons must have been sick as hell. Like, yeah what if lizards were big as shit and could fly

Cost almost as much to file my taxes as I'm getting back, except now I'm down $200 for a month while I wait

Made the greatest chicken I've ever eaten and then immediately got food poisoning. I am being punished for my hubris

Genuinely one of the best Game Changer episodes in ages. Vic may not have won the game but they've won my heart

HRT is so funny because now I can take photos like this

I finally have a working fucking cellphone, and on trans day of visibility no less

I need her so bad you have no idea

butch lesbian hex maniac

It feels like for the last month the government has been run by a YouTube comments section

No one told me breaks in NY were 45 minutes, now I just gotta sit here

She pied the way I piper

The bat signal is such a funny concept. How does a city have so much crime that they need to cut a custom piece in the shape of Batman's logo to contact him

Fucked up at my job as a guy dropping off a delivery looks exactly like Danny Devito, like spot fucking on. Genuinely scared me

Thinking about the escape room at my local mall that bankrupted itself so hard they held a liquidation sale of every prop used in it

Bought a bag of sturdy chicken and the bag is like 80% with almost no chicken in it. I counted up and in a 1 lb bag there were 8 total pieces

16 days until I move and with every day I grow more restless

Remembering when I was 16 and they karate chopped me in the dick, twice

Wishing my coworker having a loud conversation on speaker in the break room a very please do this somewhere else

Getting sniffed