Cyber City club is NOT ready for Big Pimpin’ to show his face tonight
14.03.2026 23:57
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Cyber City club is NOT ready for Big Pimpin’ to show his face tonight
DATING BIGSHOT SPAMTON HEADCANONS (Bigshot Spamton x Fem!Reader)
- He leaves you for a man
Bars. Actually bars
I got nonbinary shooters that’ll turn you into a was/were
// his fluffy‼️
That got bro pussy wet 😭
You don’t like how I drive? EVERYONE drives like that in the big city. You gotta drive crazy to assert your dominance, or they’re gonna run you off the roads.
( elbowing him in the side, gently. ) See, you gotta travel with me, or else they’ll chew you up.
… Mmm. Right.
( he looks away, feeling bad, and takes a sip of his own drink. )
Well, you’re not missing much.
You think so?
I mean, you could visit if you wanted. But everyone’s really in-your-face there. And fake as hell, too. I dunno— I just don’t think you’d like it.
I can teach you. Take my hand. Not like that you grabbed it gay. Stop. Giggles. I SAID STOP
( a hum, considering his question. it’s a neat place to visit, but it’s always so… current. )
I think it’d be too fast paced for you.
( or maybe he just doesn’t want to show tenna his home. )
I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANNA KISS SOMEONE BEFORE THE YEAR 2000. I READ THAT THE EARTH WILL STOP SPINNING AND IT IS CONCERNING. ANY TAKERS?
// he’s birds…
// alway’s thinking about spamton’s fluffy ok. his fluffy fixupx.com/raccootic/st...
( talking to himself in the mirror ) Biggest of all time bro. The best
Hold up. Watch this one. She put 3 fingers, in my Box Combo… till my Cane starts Raising
Yeah. It’d be nice. But… whatever.
( it’s never gonna happen, so what’s the point in hoping. )
… The lights in Cyber City almost look like them. If you can get far enough out of the city to look back at em all.
Overheard in the office hallway between two older businessmen: "Don't you dare pull my shirt up, I have a meeting."
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( so, he adds three scoops, and puts a pitcher underneath the coffee machine, ready for when it’s brewed. )
And, uh, now you turn it on and just… wait for it to brew.
( … did he ever tell it his name? ah, well. he’s one of the bosses here, it probably just… heard it mentioned, at some point. )
… Um. I do as many scoops as people that I’m making coffee for, plus one extra.
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Is that supposed to help your case?
AHHHHH you gay
// ok bye back to work
You gay or something?
Okay well stop getting so fuckin’ wound up all the time. How is that my problem.
You’re only young once. Buuuut if you’re only gay once, does that make you gay…? Or do I get a couple more tries before it really sets in
Uh, yeah, it is. For me, at least. Maybe you gotta loosen up.
I REALLY REALLY REALLY WANNA KISS SOMEONE BEFORE THE YEAR 2000. I READ THAT THE EARTH WILL STOP SPINNING AND IT IS CONCERNING. ANY TAKERS?
REALEST SHIT I EVER HEARD
Well, don’t be!